Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Just When You Thought It was Safe to Turn the Lights Out

This is the weird dream I had last night. It was so weird I remembered it all when I woke up. Hours later I can still "see" this very clearly. If you can figure out what it means, please post a comment!

I flew out to LA and rented a car. I drove to Anderson Cooper's to spend the night. I parked my green Toyota rental car on the street and went in to Anderson's.  He was wearing a ridiculous brown wig. I met his girlfriend. I thought she looked familiar. She was chef Robert Irvine's wife, an Asian-American female wrestler. At some point I realized my rental car had been stolen.  Anderson and what's-her-name had a wonderful Christmas Eve w/friends while I spent the night trying to figure out what to do about the car. Then right before bed Anderson told me they were leaving on a 6am flight to visit his mother in New York.  It was already about 3am. I was still on the phone, trying to get through to the car rental agency,  trying to get cops to take a stolen car report, and trying to figure out how to get to the airport to fly home the next day.  Anderson and "the girlfriend" left for the airport and stuck me with taking care of the cat and dog. I looked all over for a leash to take the dog out but couldn't find one. So I locked the dog upstairs with the cat. After not being able to get "through" to either the rental agency or the cops, I finally got a ride to the airport...and woke up.

So with this dream still vivid in my mind, I have all kinds of questions:
How did I get to be such good friends with Anderson Cooper? (Or do I call him Andy?)  Why does he live in LA? In a crappy neighborhood? And why is the gay Anderson Cooper living with Robert Irvine's wife? Why didn't they or any of their friends offer to help me? Why did he make me sleep on the couch? How could they stay up until 3am, then go to bed, and STILL get to LAX and make a 6am flight? 

Some of this I can explain away. Anderson Cooper? Well, he IS cute, and who wouldn't want to be friends with him? Robert Irvine's wife? Uh, I got nothin'! I have no explanation for any of that. Is she still married to Irvine? If so, why was she living with Anderson? The stolen car? Yeah, I have had a couple of break-in/stolen car incidents, and one did happen around Christmas, but on Christmas NIGHT, not Eve, and in Atlanta, not LA. Not being able to speak to a real person at a car rental agency at 3am on Christmas morning just kinda makes sense, no explanation necessary. Anderson and his girlfriend making their flight? Simple. Hollywood magic. Not being able to let the dog out to pee? Well, right before going to sleep I'd texted Nick and asked him to let Rowdy out after he got home and before he went to bed. And the ridiculous brownish wig Anderson was wearing? I saw Andy Richter wearing it during a commercial for the Conan O'Brien show that aired during the Sox game. Come to think of it, I'll bet the Red Sox loss was the cause of this whole thing. But I'll still watch the next game!

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