Friday, February 10, 2006

Jack comes Back from Iraq

Jack is scheduled to return to North Carolina on Sunday!!!! Please keep him and his family in your thoughts as they re-unite after a long tour of duty! Click the CW4 link on the left to check out Jack's blog. OOPS. That would be your other left. As in your right.

Scout the Wonder Dog

I'm going to DC this week to Sam/house/dog-sit. It's a real adventure taking care of Scout the Wonder Dog, who is also affectionately referred to as Bobble Butt because she's articulated (articulated, not articulate. She's a wonder dog, not a miracle dog.) and when she wags her tail, which is 99.9% of the time, she looks like a bobble-head doll with the bobble at the wrong end. Here's how a typical day with Scout goes:

It starts at,oh, about 6:30 am. As in before dawn.

"Hmmmm. I wonder if she's ready to get up and let me out."

"Hmm. I wonder how high I can jump if I get a running start down the hallway and leap onto the bed."

"Hmm. I wonder if that's the loudest she can scream."

"Hmm. I wonder if she's ever going to feed me before she feeds Casey. Hmm. I guess not."

"Hmmm. I wonder if we're going to the park this morning."

"Hmm. I wonder how fast she's going to take that s-curve on MacArthur Blvd. Maybe I better wedge myself next to the wheel well."

"Hmm. I bet she could go faster in the Beemer. I wonder if she'll ever take me for a ride in the Beemer."

"Hmm. I wonder how far I can wander before she zaps the button that triggers my electric coll....oooh. I guess that was a little too far." (She: that's a joke. I've never had to zap her. The Wonder Dog is actually pretty good at bein' have.)

"Hmm. I wonder how long I can make her stand there and throw that tennis ball."

"hmm. Gonna take that s-curve going in the opposite direction. I wonder if I should sit on the other side of the car. I'm glad she doesn't take me to the park in the Beemer."

"Hmmmmm. Dinner time. I wonder if she's ever going to feed me anything besides that same old big-puppy chow. Nope."

"Hmm. I wonder if Casey left any tidbits in her bowl. Nope. But I'm gonna lick the finish off it anyway."

"Hmm. I wonder how long I have to sit in front of this door before she lets me out. I hope not too long or I'm gonna..."

"Hmm. I wonder if she'll toss the ball down the hall for me."

"Hmm. I wonder if she'll toss the ball if I drop it in her lap."

"Hmm. I wonder if she knows the ball's in her lap or if she's just ignoring me."

"Hmm. I wonder when I'm gonna learn not to slide into the door at the end of the hall when she tosses the ball."

"Hmm. Time for bed. I've had a WONDERful day."

TV Dinners

So I get around to eating dinner at about quarter past nine last night. Here's a piece of advice for you: if you're going to eat in front of the TV, ease into it with something tasteful like HGTV or the Food Network. Don't do as I did and tune in CSI right off the bat. I sit down with a nice hot meal and click the clicker. Then the conversation goes like this:

"Do you smell that decomp?"


"D'ya think the hand is in that pile?"

Okay, so it wasn't as bad as the other night when I turned the TV on and it just happened to be set to The Discovery Channel. Since it was Tuesday it was "Dirty Jobs." I'm gonna leave that up to your imagination.

I need to start eating dinner during Wheel of Fortune.