Friday, May 10, 2013

Stupid NHL

To add insult to injury, when I went to open my email to send this, what do I find but a huge email ad from the NHL encouraging me to watch the playoffs on the NHL Network. And what game are they highlighting? Yup. Bruins-Leafs. I kid you not. You can't make this shit up

2013 Stanley Cup Playoffs on NHL Network-Bruins vs Maple Leafs GAME 5 TONIGHT at 7 ET
This promotional email was brought to you by the NHL.

This promotional email was brought to you by the NHL.

Hoping the B's game will be on CNBC but it's not lookin' good. Why schedule three games at a time if you're only going to broadcast two? Stupid NBC. Stupid NHL. Stupid gotta-have-a-dish-to-get-NHL Network. Stupid gotta-have-Verizon-to-watch-it-on-your-iPad. Stupid U-verse doesn't have stupid NESN cuz they have stupid SportsOhio and the Ohio teams all SUCK and they don't even have a stupid hockey team well they do but it's in stupid Columbus but anyway they suck too and who names their stupid team after a stupid jacket like that's gonna put terror in your opponents. Oh no! We have to play the Blue Jackets tonight! Oh, i'ma askeered! God that's worse than naming your team the Ducks yeah that was good for twelve year olds in a stupid movie but who wants to be a stupid duck fan well unless you live in Oregon but they don't have a stupid NHL team anyway. Stupid NHL schedules three stupid games at the same time. Stupid NBC and their stupid We-own-eleventythree-stupid-channels-but-we're-only-gonna-broadcast-two-games-instead-of-three. Stupid Detroit for being closer to Cleveland like that means people in Cleveland wanna watch stupid Detroit and the stupid Red Wings stupid can't even name their team after a whole stupid bird. Stupid tires don't have wings. Maybe that's why the stupid NHL and stupid NBC aren't showing the stupid Maple Leafs cuz that's as stupid as callin your team the Jackets who calls their team the stupid leafs cuz that's even worse than calling your team a stupid wing instead of a stupid bird you can't even call it a stupid tree just the stupid leafs that fall off the stupid tree well I guess that's stupid Canada for ya stupid leafs play in the stupid Air Canada Center oh excuse me the stupid Centre they're so stupid they can't even spell stupid Center right. And stupid Canada's teams suck as bad as stupid Ohio's stupid teams even their stupid football teams are stupid and can't even figure out how big a stupid football field is. Stupid Canada. Stupid NBC showinf stupid Fashion Star and stupid Jodi Arias trial like we haven't seen enough of stupid Arias and her stupid weeks long stupid trial. And who cares about some stupid fashion star nobody wears those stupid clothes in real life cuz they're stupid but people wear hockey shirts so show the people wearin' their hockey shirts with the bears on 'em cuz bruins are a good team and people are more scared of bruins than stupid jackets and ducks and wings and leafs. Stupid NHL. It's a good thing my second favorite team is the Caps and I can at least watch them cuz stupid NHL and stupid NBC aren't showing the Bruins game. Stupid heads.

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