Scout the Wonder Dog

I'm going to DC this week to Sam/house/dog-sit. It's a real adventure taking care of Scout the Wonder Dog, who is also affectionately referred to as Bobble Butt because she's articulated (articulated, not articulate. She's a wonder dog, not a miracle dog.) and when she wags her tail, which is 99.9% of the time, she looks like a bobble-head doll with the bobble at the wrong end. Here's how a typical day with Scout goes:

It starts at,oh, about 6:30 am. As in before dawn.

"Hmmmm. I wonder if she's ready to get up and let me out."

"Hmm. I wonder how high I can jump if I get a running start down the hallway and leap onto the bed."

"Hmm. I wonder if that's the loudest she can scream."

"Hmm. I wonder if she's ever going to feed me before she feeds Casey. Hmm. I guess not."

"Hmmm. I wonder if we're going to the park this morning."

"Hmm. I wonder how fast she's going to take that s-curve on MacArthur Blvd. Maybe I better wedge myself next to the wheel well."

"Hmm. I bet she could go faster in the Beemer. I wonder if she'll ever take me for a ride in the Beemer."

"Hmm. I wonder how far I can wander before she zaps the button that triggers my electric coll....oooh. I guess that was a little too far." (She: that's a joke. I've never had to zap her. The Wonder Dog is actually pretty good at bein' have.)

"Hmm. I wonder how long I can make her stand there and throw that tennis ball."

"hmm. Gonna take that s-curve going in the opposite direction. I wonder if I should sit on the other side of the car. I'm glad she doesn't take me to the park in the Beemer."

"Hmmmmm. Dinner time. I wonder if she's ever going to feed me anything besides that same old big-puppy chow. Nope."

"Hmm. I wonder if Casey left any tidbits in her bowl. Nope. But I'm gonna lick the finish off it anyway."

"Hmm. I wonder how long I have to sit in front of this door before she lets me out. I hope not too long or I'm gonna..."

"Hmm. I wonder if she'll toss the ball down the hall for me."

"Hmm. I wonder if she'll toss the ball if I drop it in her lap."

"Hmm. I wonder if she knows the ball's in her lap or if she's just ignoring me."

"Hmm. I wonder when I'm gonna learn not to slide into the door at the end of the hall when she tosses the ball."

"Hmm. Time for bed. I've had a WONDERful day."