Think your vote doesn't count?

So this guy in Ohio is a candidate trying to retain his seat on the local Democratic board and it's a tight race. The guy has two sons who are of voting age. One son lives across the street from his parents, one son is a college student living at home. With his parents. With his mom and the dad who is running for re-election.

So the dad's race ends in a tie, 43 votes for him, 43 votes for the woman running against him. The winner was to be determined by a coin toss. The man lost the coin toss, so now he loses his seat.

Oh, yeah. The two sons? They "forgot" to vote.

A Momentuous Occasions for ALL Americans

As I sat last night crying with gratitude for the incredible sights I was seeing, the words I was hearing, the release I felt, I thought how incredibly proud I am to be a white American in an era when a black man can, IS!, elected to take office as the next President of these United States. I am proud and, yes, a little more than relieved, that we have turned the tides and fulfilled the dreams of Martin Luther King, Jr., Bobby Kennedy, James Meredith, Rosa Parks, four young girls attending church in Alabama, three young men working for CORE in Mississippi, the millions of unheralded who have stood up to racism, stood up for each other, stood up for their beliefs and dreams, the thousands who have suffered, died, been imprisoned for those beliefs.

We cannot deny that what we have now, this great and unequaled country, was built on the backs of slaves from Africa, indentured servants from Ireland, Chinese railroad workers, Mexican day laborers, and at the expense of the lives and lands of Native Americans. We cannot deny that as a group, whites have benefited from the color of their skin and the power, earned or assumed, associated with that. And now, maybe, hopefully, we have begun to heal, we have begun to come together, we are building a community of Americans that is all-inclusive and so is non-exclusive.

I am proud to be an American. I always have been, since I was a child and began to understand what it means to be American. But for the first time, I can say I am proud to be a white American, part of a generation, part of a new world order, an all-encompassing, united new order of Americans leading the world in acceptance and understanding of different peoples, cultures, and ideologies that can work together for the benefit of ALL. I can see the melting pot that we have always called ourselves finally becoming a delicious stew with multitudes of flavors, colors, textures all working together and feeding the world.

I selfishly celebrate the election of Barack Obama to be our new President because it relieves me of some of the guilt I have felt, the embarrassment of the behaviors of others of my race, the anguish at how divided my beloved country could be. I selfishly celebrate that we can now truly be one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Now we get down to the nitty gritty and the hard work of building on this momentous occasion so no more black Americans need to feel disenfranchised, no more white Americans need to feel the burden of guilt, no more immigrants need to feel unwanted and unwelcome. Get to doing the hard work of uniting our own people so we can then turn to our duties and responsibilities, as leaders of the free world, to help other peoples in places around the globe experience the freedoms we oft take for granted. We can become what we were meant to be. We can become what we WANT to be. We can become the UNITED States of America.

So I was watching a McCain rally

on one of the cable news stations, doesn't matter which one, and it occurred to me that all the folks behind him chanting USA didn't really get what he was saying. He was criticizing Obama's "share the wealth" comment he made to SammyJoe the plumber, about how taxes would decrease for those making less than $250K and increase for those making more. Most of the folks in the crowd were dressed like they were farmers or blue collar workers, or low- to mid-level management. These are the folks who would BENEFIT from Obama's plan, and yet they are rejecting it with all the fervor of the crowd at a Texas/Oklahoma, Ohio State/Michigan, ND/BC football game. (you can insert your own favorite rivalry - mine is the Red Sox and anybody playing them in the ALCS)

If only people would THINK before making a choice. If only people would examine the issues and really understand how things work, especially the economy. A lot of Americans are in dire straights now. Could you imagine what it would be like now if Bush had privatized Social Security? This is like an exponential Enron collapse.

Please. People, THINK!!!!! If you agree with Obama's plan, vote for Obama. If you agree with McCain's plan, vote for McCain. But please THINK about and KNOW what the plans mean for you before deciding.

Change Walkin' to Bloggin'

I'M WALKIN
Fats Domino

I'm walkin, yes indeed and I'm talkin bout you and me
I'm hopin that you'll come back to me, uh uh

I'm lonely as I can be, I'm waitin for your company
I'm hopin that you'll come back to me.

Reminder to self

If you're gonna spend the time writin' anything interesting, do it in Word first, then copy and paste to the blog.
touchpad
For some reason, when I type on my laptop, my cursor mysteriously chnages where the type is inserted, so my post looks like a jumbled up, cryptic ransom note. I'm sure it has something to do with me being a little heavy handed on the keyboard, or accidentally hitting some magic button secretly embedded near the

How ironic, it just did it on touchpad. No I did NOT do that on purpose. Honestly. it drives me friggin' nuts!

Oh yeah, and I'm constantly spelling words with the letter a ttransposed with whatever letong.
ter is supposed to precede it. And I constantly spell beleive wr

Geez, did it again. How did the ong. get up in the middle of the word letter?

That's supposed to say I constantly spell the letter beleived wrong. still comes out beleive. I know it's believe but it

Dammit! see how frustrating this can be?

Anybody have any ideas on why this happens -the cursor thing, not the spelling, as I'm sure that's just poor typing. Is there a solution. Is there hope for me?

Do Not Call List

I just switched back to my old phone/cable/internet provider and got a new phone number. Then I went out of town for a few days. I hadn't even given this phone number out to anybody yet. When I got back there were 11 messages on my machine and I've had two calls already today! I gotta get this number registered.

Red Sox Nation News

Speakin’ about the Red Sox…well, if you weren’t, you SHOULD be! They really know how to keep things hoppin’!

Wow! Manny to the Dodgers. Manny being Manny in LA? What’s so exciting about that? There are a lot of Mannys in LA, and I’m not talking about the lawn guys. Manny is not going to stand out in Lala Land. More likely he’ll fit right in with the rest of the divas. But we’re gonna miss him. And his leettle friend too. Yup. He’s takin’ that bat with him. I sure hope the new guy knows what he’s in for. Maybe he should have talked to JD Drew before agreeing to the trade. Or Eric Gagne.

On second thought, let’s leave Gagne out of this. We don’t want to jinx poor Jason Bay before he plays his first game!

I guess we olde timers have to accept that it’s a whole new ballgame and we’ll just have to live without Manny. That probably won’t be so hard. We managed to survive losing Nomar. Who is now reunited with Manny. And playing for Joe Torre! Who ever saw THAT coming?

Anyway, for all you Sox fans out there, do me a favor and take a minute to let your voice be heard and vote for me for Governor of Ohio, the birthplace of aviation and one of the member states of Red Sox Nation. Just click here
http://boston.redsox.mlb.com/bos/fan_forum/rsn_gov_support_form.jsp
. Again and again and…vote up to ten times. Please. Thanks.

Oh, and speakin’ of Ohio, the Reds gave up Ken Griffey, Jr. Now there’s a class act. A great player who’s fought his way back time and again from injury, the antithesis of Manny. I hope he does well in Chicago, but unfortunately he’s now in the AL so I hope he does well enough to make the playoffs but that’s about it. Just like wine, I like my Sox Red, not White. Well, I would if I liked wine.

Check out Liz's Blog

Click on the title of this post or use the links to your right to see what Liz is workin' on!

Welcome Back Kotter...I mean Blogger

So I thought I’d re-enter the land of the blog. When I got back here I was reminded of Cousin Jen’s blog, so I went to check it out. Jen’s still fighting the good fight…and winning! Anytime you think you’ve got a problem, go read Jen’s Blog and learn how to deal with life and whatever it throws at you.

Introducing the new and improved complete spray food post

I was looking through the USA Today site and saw an article about spray-on foods. The writer led with info on new spray-on salad dressings that would help people control how much dressing they get on their salads. I guess that's for people challenged by the basic shake-and-pour method that, until now, has stood the test of time. Will spray-on-foods now be known as the best thing since sliced bread?

I'm a little queasy about all these new fangled ways of food delivery hitting the market. Why can't we just eat food? Real food? I understand some of the science and theory behind bioengineering food to make it possible to grow just about anything just about anywhere, but sometimes I question what it's all going to come to. And now they're talking like we're gonna just be spritzing a few different bottles of food into our mouths and that's dinner.

Imagine what life would be like then. Already families don't eat together as often as they used to. And more and more people are eating in their cars. I can just see it now. A fast-food drive-thru of the future would be similar to today's automatic car washes. Just punch in the code for an appetizer, another for an entree, and maybe a dessert. Hey, why not? It's low-cal! Then wave your debit card, cuz now we don't even have to swipe them anymore. I guess that takes way too much time. You know, cuz you have to fit the card in the swiper slot rather than just pulling it out of your pocket and aiming it at the reader. (Wow, what am I gonna do with all that free time? What exactly can you do in a few hundred nanoseconds, anyway?) So just open the windows and pull into the bay and let Jiffy Food do the rest. Gives new meaning to Applebee's Carside-to-go.

Holiday celebrations would be a little different, too. Some people (like those at the Jones Soda Company) have already jumped on that bandwagon. We don't have to gather 'round the dinner table on Thanksgiving, risking missing the kickoff of the traditional Thanksgiving Day football game. Instead, we can gather 'round the wide screen plasma TV and pass around a six pack of dinner, complete from soup to nuts. You can start with the appetizers. I dare you to kick off your gathering with a splash of smoked salmon pate. (Pretend there’s one of those thingies over the e in pate. You know, so it sounds French. I don’t know how to do that on the computer and, frankly, it’d just be a waste of my time to come to each and every one of you to draw one on your screen. No offense, but it’s just not worth it. Use your imagination!) Follow with the entree (you know the drill with the e thingy) and garnish and end with a little Thanksgiving pie.

The liquid holiday dinner is especially great for the ladies, more and more of whom are becoming avid sports fans. Now, instead of six hours of food preparation, a fifteen minute dinner, and three hours of dishwashing, the gals can just relax with the guys and watch their favorite quarterbacks and tight ends battle it out on the gridiron. As long as they don’t show up in a pink “official” Tom Brady uniform. Not even Tailgating Barbie should wear that stuff.

So, back to the spray-on flavorings. According to the article, there are “more than 150 spray on foods [in] the market” with different purposes. Let’s take them point-by-point, shall we?

•Sprays that add flavor. Flavor Spray, a no-calorie spray targeted at dieters who crave flavor

Uh, isn’t that what gum is for?

•Sprays that disguise flavor. Can't get the kids to eat their vegetables? …[try the new] candy-flavored sprays … as a way to get kids to eat those veggies.

Great. Just what we need. Cotton candy flavored brussel sprouts. Yeah, that’ll be a big hit. To the bottom lines of the cotton candy sellers of America. Let’s face it. The spray-on is only going to add flavor to the brussel sprouts, not change it. So it’s still going to look like and have the texture of a brussel sprout, but with a hint of pink or blue sugar. And since it’s low cal it won’t be real sugar. It will be the artificial kind. Yeah, that’d be a move in the right direction, healthwise.

So the kids will come to associate the idea of cotton candy with the disgusting vegetables they were forced to eat (or drink!) at Sunday dinner. What kid is gonna want to rip a big, fluffy hunk of cotton candy off a paper cone, knowing it’s now going to taste like a brussel sprout? That’s unfair to the kiddies. What’s a visit to the carny without cotton candy? There oughta be a law. Just like there oughta be a law against Easter baskets without Peeps.

•Sprays going organic. This summer, ConAgra's Pam cooking spray will introduce two organic varieties that will sell for 50 cents more than conventional Pam.

Well, of course it’s going to cost more. Healthy food always does. You can buy a twelve pack of Twinkies for less than the cost of a bunch of asparagus. And I’m not sure how eager the American public is for organic oil. I mean, technically, oil is organic, but I just can’t imagine spraying organic WD-40 on my cake pans. “Excuse me, waiter? Could you ask the chef to use the summer weight oil on my vegetables? I really don’t like to use anything heavier than a 10W-20 oil before Labor Day.” And I hear there’ll be a new offering from Ocean Spray. It literally is “ocean spray.” This will not only benefit the spray-on food industry, as well as dieters who can’t grasp the concept of sprinkling the salt on their spray-butter-covered corn-on-the-cob, but it will boost the Discovery Channel’s revenues as well. Now they can add the sea-spray-salt season to their Deadliest Catch series. It won’t be nearly as exciting as opilio crab season on the Bering Sea during an Arctic freeze, but watching fishermen trolling for sea water could be more exciting than you think. The up-to-700-hundred-pound-pots they use to catch their quarry are made of steel and netting. The salt water would mostly sluice right through the netting, resulting in low catch rates, which could cause intense drama on the high seas. I see high Nielsen ratings for this one.

•Sprays for pets. Then, there's Gourmet Spray. It targets pet owners whose pets have lost interest in kibble. The $4.99 spray — in pork, beef and seafood — makes dry pet food smell "good enough to eat

Oh, Lordy. Wait ‘til PETA gets a hold of this. They’re gonna have a field day. Spray-on flavoring for pets?

Oh, wait. I get it now. It’s spray-on flavoring for pet food, not for pets! Ha! Haha! My bad. Nevermind.

Anyway, back to spray foods and football…at least now the Steelers’ Ben Roethlisberger will be able to drink the same foods his teammates will be eating at training camp. For the NFL-challenged among you, Big Ben holds the distinction of being the youngest NFL quarterback ever to lead his team to victory in the Super Bowl, having won Super Bowl XL with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Ben recently had a run-in on his motorcycle with a little old lady who drove her car through a left hand turn as Roethlisberger rode through the intersection. Been there, had that done to me. It’s not pretty. Of course, if Ben had used half the sense he was born with, he would have worn a full-face helmet and walked away from his motorcycle accident with a few cuts and contusions instead of a new bionic face. Seriously. If you wear a helmet and facemask on the football field to protect your noggin, what makes you think you can go speeding along on a motorcycle with no head/face protection and walk away unscathed? I speak from experience. Wear a helmet. Doofus.

I AM AN IDIOT

Okay. It's been awhile since I last posted. I won't bore you with the details now. That's for another day, heh-heh-heh. I was going to add another post to the blog today. Really I was! It was good, too. But I forgot one cardinal rule, one promise I had made to myself. Write it in Word and then cut and paste it into the blog "create a post" window. So I get all the way through the post and decide to double check it. You know, for spelling and grammar and all that other stuff a Catholic school education makes one so anal about. About which one is so anal. About which one becomes anal. Ah, fuggedaboudit. You know what I mean. Check it so it makes some kind of sense. Of course just because it makes sense to me doesn't necessarily mean it will make sense to you. So what's the point in checking it?

Anyway, what I did was double check a hyperlink I had added. There are -were- actually several links in that post. I'll try and recreate them when I recreate the post. I guess I was just in a hyperlink kind of mood. So I clicked on the hyperlink...without saving the post as a draft. I can't believe I friggin' did that. Again! Actually I can believe it but sometimes I like to pretend I don't have ADD and do stupid unthinking things like that. But that's for another post, too.

Well, just to tantalize you, here's what was saved from that post. I'll work on it maybe later today, cuz I know once you get a "taste" of it you won't want to wait to see how it ends. I promise I'll get it out before the week ends.

Here's what was saved...

TITLE
Okay, I'm going to try and do a better job of keeping this blog up to date. I'm not making any promises but I will try!

POST
Anyway, I was looking through the USA Today site and saw an article on spray-on foods. They led with info on new spray-on salad dressings that would help people control how much dressing they get on their salads. I guess that's for people challenged by the basic shake-and-pour method that, until now, has stood the test of time. Will spray-on-foods now be known as the best thing sinced sliced bread?

I'm a little queasy about all these new fangled ways of food delivery hitting the market. Why can't we just eat food? Real food? I understand some of the science and theory behind bioengineering food to make it possible to grow just about anything just about anywhere, but sometimes I question what it's all going to come to. And now they're talking like we're gonna just be spritzing a few different bottles of food into our mouths and that's dinner.

Imagine what life would be like then. Already families don't eat together as often as they used to.And more and more people are eating in their cars. I can just see it now. A fast-food drive-thru of the future would be similar to today's automatic car washes. Just punch in the code for an appetizer, another for an entree, and maybe a dessert. Hey, why not? It's low-cal! Then wave your debit card, cuz now we don't even have to swipe them anymore. I guess that takes way too much time. You know, cuz you have to fit the card in the swiper slot rather than just pulling it out of your pocket and aiming it at the reader. (Wow, what am I gonna do with all that free time? What exactly can you do in a few hundred nonoseconds, anyway?) So just open the windows and pull into the bay and let Jiffy Food do the rest. Gives new meaning to Applebee's Carside-to-go.

Holiday celebrations would be a little different, too. Some people (like those at the Jones Soda Company) have already jumped on that bandwagon. We don't have to gather 'round the dinner table on Thanksgiving, ris

Practicing the art of digression

So for some reason my mind wandered back last night to a meeting of my Political Economy of Racism class, which I just happened to be taking in September of 2001. The teacher was (is) an American woman of Afghani and Pakistani descent. Members of the class included me, the old(er) white lady, and my groupmates, a young, first-generation American woman whose parents emigrated here from Pakistan – she was doing her semester abroad type of deal only her home school was Clark University in Worcester, about forty-five minutes away - and two young women from Smith College are extremely well-read and typical of the bright, questioning, civically (is that a word? because I was going to say politically but that doesn’t seem to cover anything outside, well, politics) involved students who attend colleges like Smith and Berkeley and yes, even UMass. The rest of the class were students from UMass, Mt. Holyoke, Amherst, and Hampshire Colleges. I must say it was one of the most diverse groups I’ve ever had the pleasure of being involved in. Many of the “kids” were international students representing the Caribbean, Brazil, Niger, Kenya, Poland, and southeast Asia. Some were from red states – like I said, a diverse group.

Anyway, this class was held in the aftermath of 9/11, which made it an interesting time to be learning about, and with, this type of multi-cultural group. Sure, we covered the effects of racism in America, especially the effects of slavery and the civil rights movement, typical standard fare in an American class on racism. But we also discussed religious persecution as a form of racism, and the effects of religion on culture, values, and interactions. While we were delving into the relationships and conflicts between the Israelis and the Palestinians, a question popped into my head that was so basic, so simple, I couldn’t help but ask it. Why can’t these groups find some kind of neutral ground? Both sides lay claim to the same Holy Ground. The instructor’s first reaction was incredulousness at my having asked such a stupid question. Didn’t I get it that ownership of the Holy Ground was what the fuss was all about? Well, sure. I get that part. And yes, I understood that people have been trying to devise a peaceful solution. But if you go beyond the simplicity of the question and take it seriously, it ended up being a good jumping-off point for a discussion. What I really was wondering was much more than “Can’t we all just get along.” What the real question was, and continues to be, at least for me, is why can’t people accept and respect the beliefs held by others? Why can’t the Israelis see that the Palestinians are no more amenable to giving up their hold on the Holy Land than the Israelis? Why can’t the Palestinians see that the Israelis have an equal right to worship and honor their Holy Land?

Part of the problem, I suppose, is that most religions teach that theirs is the one True religion. That theirs is the one True God. All the Jews are taught that the Catholics are wrong in their beliefs. The Sunnis are taught that they are more faithful than the Shiites. The Catholics are so cocksure about their beliefs they barely teach from the Bible. (Disclaimer, I was raised Catholic and did - spent - twelve years in Catholic schools.) The so-called Christian Coalition members are taught that the Scriptures are to be followed to the letter, unless, of course, it creates an inconvenience, and then it’s a matter of interpretation.

Another problem is that religious fanatics can become so overzealous that they can’t allow for different opinions or beliefs. Some are so intent on following the one True path they don’t, can’t, or won’t recognize that the path to religious freedom is actually more like an interstate, with many roads leading to the same “place.” You can get there from here. It just takes a little guidance, kind of like a righteous GPS system.

But that analogy introduces another question. Science and technology versus religion. There’s a lot of dissidence about whether schools should teach creationism or evolution in the classroom. That’s an interesting problem. I’m not sure there’s a solution. Not an easy one, at any rate. Creationism is a theory upon which many religions are based. We all know the basic premise, that there is ONE GOD who created the world and everything, animal-vegetable-mineral, in it. Now we have scientific evidence that the Big Bang Theory and evolution played a greater part in the development of this planet and all the creatures on it. This is where faith comes up against cosmology. Cosmology being the study of the origins of life as we know it. Not that stuff you learn at the local beauty school.

I have very little background in cosmology, but I understand the basics of it and the theory of evolution. It makes sense. I also have faith, despite my wanderings from the Church, that there is a god. Maybe not your God. Maybe not just one God. But some higher Being who gives us something, someone, to believe in. I used to wonder how scientists can reconcile their faith, their belief, their religious truth, with their knowledge and understanding, their evidence, their scientific truth. My best answer to that is, That’s the difference between Belief and Faith. One can believe that there was some cataclysmic event that caused the Big Bang, resulting in matter exploding through an infinite space that eventually developed into planets, at least one of which sustains life as we know it. At the same time, one can have faith in Genesis, that God is responsible for, well, everything. Despite the scientific finality of death, one can believe there is a higher purpose, that there is life after death in some form (and I don’t disregard reincarnation). Faith and Belief can co-exist. At least in my life. Of course I also strongly believe in the separation of church and state, despite the fact that, for the most part, man’s law is based on religious doctrine.

I still have a lot of thinking to do about these issues. I’m not looking for a solution to the world’s problems, just a better understanding of them.

Food for thought. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.

Who's minding the children?

Whoooaaa! Wait just a doggone minute here. What’s up with this judge? Is she nuts?

Check out the following story as reported on USAToday.com:

Judge: Man is too short for prison

SIDNEY, Neb. (AP) — A judge said a 5-foot-1 man convicted of sexually assaulting a child was too small to survive in prison, and gave him 10 years of probation instead.

His crimes deserved a long sentence, District Judge Kristine Cecava said, but she worried that Richard W. Thompson, 50, would be especially imperiled by prison dangers.

"You are a sex offender, and you did it to a child," she said.

But, she said, "That doesn't make you a hunter. You do not fit in that category."

Thompson will be electronically monitored the first four months of his probation, and he was told to never be alone with someone under age 18 or date or live with a woman whose children were under 18. Cecava also ordered Thompson to get rid of his pornography.

He faces 30 days of jail each year of his probation unless he follows its conditions closely.

"I want control of you until I know you have integrated change into your life," the judge told Thompson. "I truly hope that my bet on you being OK out in society is not misplaced."

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.”

Why is this judge so concerned for the convicted sex offender’s safety? Don’t prisons have special housing units that separate child molesters -and others who need extra protection- from the general population? Don’t most experts agree that a pedophile is likely to continue to offend when released from prison? But she thinks he can “integrate(d) change into (his) life?” She’s betting on her faith in him not being misplaced. That’ll be small comfort to any children, and their families, he may “offend” in the future. While she’s worried that he may be “especially imperiled by prison dangers,” who is worrying about the children being imperiled by having this guy out on the streets? And she thinks he deserves a long sentence, but only four months of his probation will require electronic monitoring? There’s something wrong here. Maybe a little “prison justice” is what this guy needs to set himself straight. I don’t think making a weekly phone call to a probation officer is going to help him control himself.

And the winner is....

Wow! Talk about a kick in the teeth! I watched the finale tonight of Bravo TV’s Top Chef competition. It’s a kind of foodie reality show where chefs/contestants are assigned challenges to make certain kinds of dishes within given guidelines. It’s actually been pretty interesting seeing how each chef deals with the challenge, and with each other. Each week one chef is named Top Chef of the week and one is asked (well, TOLD) to “pack your knives and go.” Last weeks pre-finale pitted Dave, the highly emotional gay chef who spent the early years of his career in the tech sector, against Tiffani, the lesbian chef with an attitude that does her no good at all, and Harold, the Clark Kent of chefdom. (No, sexual orientation has nothing to do with how well one can prepare a dish, but it seemed important to the chefs to share it with us, and so I share it with you.)

Last week I thought for sure Dave the Underdog was going to pull it off and reach the finals with Harold. But unfortunately Dave’s staccato, helter skelter cooking style caused him to miss one rule of last week’s challenge, to prepare three dishes to serve to the judges. Dave only prepared two dishes and, as good as they were, he lost because of the missing dish.

That left us with Tiffani vs. Harold for tonight’s finale. The Yin and Yang of cooking. The alpha and omega of attitude. And the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde of personality. Like most reality show/moneymakers, viewers were encouraged to text a vote for their favorite chef, at whatever the going rate for text messaging is, and despite the fact that smellivision has not yet been perfected and no samples of the cooking were delivered to the viewers at home. So viewers were actually voting for their favorite ‘character.’

The kick in the teeth was the viewers vote tally. There were four judges who made the actual choice, but before they did they consulted with the four sous chefs, previous contestants brought back to help on the final challenge. All four of those contestants thought Harold was the hands down winner. (When Tiffani learned this, she told Harold it was "tough to hear" and that her back had fallen onto his knife, like it was Harold's fault nobody liked her.) The judges apparently felt the same, so Harold was announced as the Top Chef. Tiffani was stunned. Despite numerous admonitions about her high falutin’ attitude and the manner in which she treated her fellow contestants, and the diners she cooked for, she thought she had it in the bag. You could see it on her face. She has perfected the “I KNOW I’m better than you” smirk and tossed one Harold’s way before he was named the winner. But wait until Tiffani gets home and sees the show. I hope somebody TiVoed it for her. I have never seen anything like it. Except maybe back in freshman year of high school when everybody voted for the fun guy, the class clown, for student council instead of the serious student who would actually go to the meetings and make a difference.

Are you ready for this? Tiffani, if you’re reading this I hope you’re sitting down. And I hope you’re far away from me. Don’t shoot the messenger.

The final tally:

Harold 97%

Tiffani 03%

Landslide doesn't even begin to describe this outcome. Unless the landslide is caused by a tsunami which was caused by an earthquake. But even that doesn't describe it well.

Talk about public humiliation! Talk about having the wind knocked out of your sails, your balloon burst, and thunderstorms on your parade! What could be worse than total annihilation on national television? If they ever give out an award for this kind of thing, she’s gonna win hands down. Usually at least something good comes out of this kind of competition and exposure, but I can’t imagine anything positive for Tiffani from this experience. I mean, I didn’t like the way she treated the others, her attitude about how the challenges were so beneath her she was going to follow her own crooked path, and her disdain for some of the diners, but even I feel some sympathy for her. Not a lot, but some. Maybe Dr. Phil is a fan of Top Chef and will have a special show just for Tiffani. But I think it would have to be a mini-series. The girl needs a lot of work!

Where have all the REAL fans gone?

While we’re on the subject of sports, and baseball in particular, here’s another of my gripes. I’m pretty adamant about this one. Not like the DH rule, about which, like I said, I’m kinda on the fence. No, on this issue I KNOW where I stand. I am dead set against it. I don’t know whose bright idea it was. Probably some marketing guru looking for other sources of staggering income for major league teams. I haven’t seen this phenomenon in college sports yet but I’m sure the NCAA isn’t far behind.

Yes, sports fans, I’m talking about fan apparel. Specifically, apparel aimed at the fans among us who think it’s proper to dress like a lady when rooting for your favorite sports team. You’ve seen them, I’m sure. Maybe you didn’t know what to make of them. Those pink hats. Yes, pink. And the shirts and sweats that match. The trophy date taking up, I mean sitting in, the courtside/sideline/baseline seats at the playoffs. The ones who cheer when that big guy hits another thingy over the wall. Or when the cute guy in the tight pants catches the ball after running past those adorable little cones at the end of the football field. The ones who order white zinfandel from the waiter rather than standing in line for beer and brats like the rest of us.

The latest in sports fashion looks like your mother washed your favorite white home jersey in hot water with your official Red Sox socks. It was bad enough when they introduced the green “St. Patty’s Day” Red Sox uniforms. Never mind that the season doesn’t even start until weeks after March 17. Or that few players in American pro baseball are Irish. Then along came the different colored hats. Focusing just on the Red Sox, you can get the traditional (and my personal favorite) red cap with the blue bill and B. Or an all blue cap with a red B. Standard caps. BASEBALL caps. But no, they couldn’t stop there. I’m sure you’ve seen those specialty stores in the mall that sell hats. Mostly hats. Places with names like LIDS and Head Quarters. They market all kinds and colors of hats. There are hundreds of hat color combinations for each team. In fact they encourage the buyer to “Choose hats from the hottest brands and profiles, with the accessories and apparel you need to complete your look.” Complete your look? Remember when the “look” consisted of a team T-shirt and an authentic cap? And the accessory was a Red Sox key chain? Now the fashion conscience fan can wear matching outfits – hey, you wear the away uniform and I’ll wear the home uniform – right down to the Underoos. Or, for “the little lady”, how about a pink hat with a pink Red Sox twinset topping off the pink Red Sox shorts and socks. And of course a pair of pink Nikes with a pink B. Under it all is the ubiquitous Red Sox thong. Yes, that’s right. I said Red Sox thong. You can complete your outfit with a red, white, or blue thong. Yes, you can get a pink thong. Better yet, for those cold, windy Ides of March games, how about a St. Paddy’s Day green thong?

Gawd, Tom Yawkey must be rolling in his grave at the thought of that. Or maybe he’s trying to get a better look.

The Asterisk

So the “agonizing wait” is over. Barry (The Asterisk) Bonds has finally hit another ball outta the park, matching George Herman (The Babe) Ruth’s years-long record of 714 homers. The Asterisk still has a way to go to reach -and pass- the all-time home run leader Henry (The Hammer) Aaron who holds the record of 755 home runs after surpassing the Babe with no. 715 in 1974.

Is it fair to compare players from such different eras, who played under such varied circumstances as these players?

The Babe spent the first years of his career as a pitcher, and his appearances at the plate were limited by the reduced number of games a pitcher would play. Once he started playing in the outfield, his at-the-plate numbers increased. The Babe had limited access to physical conditioning (unless you count the Budweiser arm curls) and the equipment in use at the time was a little less advanced than today’s gear. Still, Ruth was able to produce some great numbers as a pitcher and even better numbers as a batter.

The Hammer spent the first years of his career in the Negro Leagues and then battled racism when he moved to the majors. That’s quite an obstacle to face, day in, day out. The people who are screaming FOR him inside the ballpark would cross the street (or make him cross the street) to avoid him outside the park. The conditioning, equipment, and pay increased pretty steadily during The Hammer’s hammerin’ years. Hank kept hitting the homers while at the same time earning several Gold Gloves for his fielding skills. Another all-around great member of the Hall of Fame.

The Asterisk may not make it into Cooperstown. Not without a ticket. The Asterisk is the product of advanced equipment, rules changes, monetary rewards (when he signed with his current team, the Giants, he was the highest paid player ever in MLB), and state-of-the-art conditioning of the last few decades. But that wasn’t enough for Bonds. Nope. He had to take it a step or two further. He “allegedly(?)” used steroids to enhance his physique and thus his power at the plate. Hence the asterisk that will, in my opinion rightfully, follow him around as he sets and breaks records for hitting. It’s really unfortunate that Bonds has to live with this. He has had an incredible career, breaking records for stealing bases, walks, winning a number of Gold Gloves, playing on multiple All-Star teams and being named MVP more times than any other player in either league. But doping is cheating. And cheaters never win. Well, they do, but that’s not the American way. Well, it is, kind of. At least in big business and that’s what professional sports has become, big business.

That’s why I like Cape League Baseball. I like to watch players who play for the love of the game. And room and board. Some of them will go on to make the big bucks when they reach The Show, but most will end up with respectable careers as coaches, teachers, salesmen. With stories to tell their sons and grandsons about the summer they played against the next guy to break the home run record.

Oh, yeah. One other thing. I wonder if The Asterisk will slide over to the AL so he can DH after his real career is over. In fact, he was DHing in interleague play when he tied The Babe’s record. With some of the injuries he’s had recently, he may have to resort to the DH spot to break The Hammer’s record of 755. I’m kinda on the fence about the DH rule. I understand the justification of it and I think I accept it more as other sports develop one-position players. Football players rarely play both sides of the ball. Even the kickers specialize in either punting or tee-kicking. There are few good, all-around basketball players who consistently hit the triple double. It’s all about specialization now, about dominating one part of the game. Of course, without the DH we wouldn’t see so much of sluggers like David Ortiz. But we wouldn’t have to put up with players like José Canseco or Jason Giambi, either.

But that’s what big business has done to professional sports. That and the high cost of being a fan. How many regular folks do you know who can pay hundreds of dollars to bring their average family of four to a professional sports game? A couple of hundred for decent tickets, another fifty bucks for parking, then add in food, the $8 beers and $4 sodas, and a souvenir apiece for the little ones…sounds more like a mortgage payment than a night at the park. It used to be the rest of us could catch the game on TV. Then came ESPN and we had to pay to watch. Now it costs hundreds of dollars to get a full season of your favorite sport on a cable network. At least the parking is free and the snacks are cheaper.

Ah, but there I go digressing again. Somebody stop me.

Click here for a timeline of Babe Ruth’s career. Priceless

http://www.redmond.k12.or.us/patrick/renz/2005-2006/biography.htm

What's wrong with these pictures?

30 year old New York Firefighter yearly salary

$54,048

$148/day

30 year old New York Yankee yearly salary (A-Rod)

$25,680,727

$70+ THOUSAND per day

Vote for Pedro

Yesterday was primary day in Ohio. I didn't vote. I wanted to. I tried to. But I couldn't do it.

I've always been adamant about voting. I have worked, locally, on several presidential campaigns. I have organized voter registration drives and MTV Rock the Vote campaigns. I've complained more times than I can count about people who don't vote but then whine about the state of the union-state-county-city. Now I am one of those people.

I'm not sure my excuse for not voting is valid. Heck, it's not even an excuse, just an explanation. I'm sick of politics. I take that back. I'm not sick of politics, I'm sick of dirty politics. I'm sick of negative campaign ads (attacks). I'm sick of trying to figure out how we've come to such a sorry state that we put up with this crap.

I think we need to abolish the party system and just let people run on their platforms rather than against each other. Yeah, I know, that'll never happen. It's not feasible. It's not sordid enough. It's not even American. But wouldn't it be nice to just be able to hear about what someone wants to do to improve their little piece of the world and be able to reasonably expect them to follow through? Wouldn't it be nice if someone would inject a modicum of decency and respect into their campaign? Wouldn't it have been nice to have had the option of voting for a Kerry/McCain team?

The media pundits don't exactly have a positive effect on politics, either. Most media outlets lean towards one party or another, with few offering truly unbiased information. It seems like journalism has gone completely over to the spin doctors, commentators, and speculators rather than honest, intelligent reporting. And I'm not just talking about Jayson Blair or Stephen Glass, both reporters found guilty of injecting not just their own opinions into their pieces but fabricating the "news" they reported. I'm talking about Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Alan Coombs. I'm talking about Fox News versus CNN versus whichever of your local network channels you get your news from. The traditional town paper versus the tabloid version (which is roughly equivalent to the papers owned by The New York Times conglomerate versus those owned by Rupert Murdoch.) I'm talking about how the news is slanted depending on who is delivering it. That doesn't even begin to touch on the "news" that isn't news but mere speculation. Or projecting. Or polling. That seems to be a whole other genre of infotainment.

Anyway, to get back to voting, I actually researched some of the candidates. I tried to learn about the issues. I tried to separate the wheat from the chaff and I finally gave up. I finally got so disgusted I made a conscious decision (as opposed to an unconscious decision?) to ignore my own sense of duty and skip the polling places. I'm sure I could have conquered the new polling equipment, much of which was reported to have not lived up to expectations of simplicity, at least in my county. And I know from experience that I would have had to wait to get into a vacant booth but that wait would be less than ten minutes. I also know I could see past the familial links between candidates who all seem to be trying to make the point that they are related to JOE Smith but not JOHN Smith, or NOT related to any Smith that has served before. (You think nepotism in politics is bad in Boston, you should check out the incestual local governments in Ohio, including my little berg.)

Instead of just going through the motions I decided to take a stand and refuse to support what I think is a flawed system. Not flawed in its design but flawed in its execution. It probably won't have much of an effect on the outcome of local races, but I kind of feel good about my own little protest. Maybe I'll even write a letter to the editor. It's bound to get published. It seems the whole front section of the paper has been taken over by editorials and essays. I wonder where they put the REAL news.

GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK

No Matter How You Slice It

So I was watching Dateline last night and they did a segment on the dangers of eating a bagged salad without first washing it. You know, those bags of salad mixtures you can get at the grocery store. The ones with names like Fresh Express, and variations from American to European to Veggie Lovers. I’m not sure the Veggie Lovers is aptly named, since the only thing that distinguishes that from a regular salad mix is extra carrots. I like carrots, but I wouldn’t consider myself a carrot lover! Maybe they should just call it the American with Extra Carrots. Or the American Mix for Folks Who Like Extra Carrots. Or they could call it what it is…lettuce and carrot salad. That’s probably not good enough for the marketing team. Not too catchy. And heaven forbid they should actually call it what it is. What do we expect, truth in advertising?

Okay, here it comes…drum roll please…Ah But I Digress. Back to the Dateline piece. The “Industry Consultant” (read the guy who’s paid to spin the problem on behalf of the lettuce growers/packers/sellers, everybody but the salad eaters) referred to bagged salads as the greatest food innovation since sliced bread. That really got me thinking. Not about bagged salads but about sliced bread. I mean, really, is it that great that all else pales in comparison to it? I mean, how difficult is it to slice the bread yourself? It’s not like people couldn’t figure out how to slice the bread before the industrial revolution. Knives have been around in some form since the cavemen learned how to make tools out of stone. Granted it’s easier to slice the bread with a serrated bread knife, but the sharp stone was good enough for Neanderthal Man. I’m not exactly sure of this but I imagine slicing bread was popular hundreds of years ago when the Earl of Sandwich decided to stack a hunk of meat between two, well, slices of bread. So I guess people have been slicing bread for a while now.

When you think of it, there have been a few innovations, a few discoveries and inventions, in the past few centuries that are truly better than sliced bread. So why is sliced bread still the gold standard against which all other advances are measured? (And what was the best thing before sliced bread?) How about something being the best thing since the polio vaccine? Or the best thing since moveable type? Did moveable type come before sliced bread, and hence lose its luster and its best ranking? Even other sliced foods are better than sliced bread. Like bacon. Which would you rather slice, a loaf of bread or a big ol’ side of pork fat? I’ll slice the bread and go with the pre-sliced bacon, thank you very much. Oh, and how about cheese? Sliced cheese is good, but I’m not sure it’s better than sliced bread. Although it becomes a tighter race when the cheese is individually wrapped so it doesn’t all stick together. But only if it’s real cheese. I’m not so sure about that cheese food stuff. Who ever thought of calling it cheese food? You don’t feed the cheese. You can cut the cheese. Preferably in another room. You can melt the cheese. You can even slice the cheese yourself. But I have never, in my many years on this planet, seen anybody feed their cheese.

You know what? Since the cheese is individually wrapped, maybe they should individually wrap the pieces of bread. Maybe it would stay fresh longer. That would be the best thing since sliced bread!

RIDE LIKE THE WIND

This is another installment of previously written essays that I occasionally post here. It may help you understand what "drives" people to ride those infernal machines known as motorcycles. And no, a Vespa doesn't count!

In spite of the dangers that accompany every motorcycle ride, motorcycles are becoming more mainstream than they ever were. Baby boomers are fulfilling lifelong fantasies of posturing as Easy Rider and cruising through town on a customized chopper. Women have long enjoyed riding motorcycles but it’s only recently that it has become socially acceptable for them to be bikers rather than just biker babes. Admittedly, riding motorcycles is in and of itself an inherently dangerous, some say reckless, activity. But there is no other mode of transportation that legally offers the thrills and excitement, the enjoyment of being one with the road, that motorcycling does, and riding in motorcycle friendly California is one of the best ways to experience this.

There’s a new kid in town, Joanie come lately, and she’s rollin’ in on her hog. Whether tooling around town on a customized Harley or riding across the country on a fully dressed Honda Gold Wing, the woman’s place has almost always been on the back of the bike. Fortunately this is no longer the only way for women to ride. More and more women are giving up the queen seats and side cars to ride their own bikes alongside their mates. Many women who have been closet bikers can now proudly leave the mini-van in the garage and bop around town on their bikes. Some grandmas are fulfilling life-long dreams of touring across America on its back roads, meeting people from all walks of life and generally having the times of their lives. Still other women are trading Oprah-inspired book club meetings for group rides, sometimes with no particular justification except the enjoyment of the ride itself.

Out on the pavement, all motorcyclists actually take their lives into their hands every time they hop on a bike. Hitting the open road has a different, even literal, meaning for a cyclist. Regardless of continuing technological improvements, bikes are dangerous just by nature of their design. Because a motorcycle’s tires are so much smaller than a car’s they allow less contact with the road. In recent years improvements in the design, structure, and materials used in manufacturing motorcycle tires have greatly increased their grip; reduced the rate of blowouts; and helped improve bike handling and road traction. Along with tire R&D, new suspension technologies, lighter weight materials, and stronger frame designs have helped enhance handling and drivability. But all the high tech R&D available can’t help a motorcyclist in his battles with inattentive, ignorant, and reckless car drivers. A cycle/rider combination’s relatively small stature makes them less visible to other drivers. Not only do car operators have difficulty perceiving the speed at which a motorcycle may be coming toward them, they have trouble judging how far away they are. Or they erroneously think a motorcycle’s better handling characteristics will compensate for their own lack of judgment. When push comes to shove, in most accidents between motorcycle and motor vehicle, the cyclist had the right of way. Unfortunately the laws of physics supersede the rules of the road, and a motorcyclist who is right just may be dead right. (Wanna know how I know this?)

Despite the risks involved, the lure of the open road joins with the liberation of zooming along free of the confines of a hulking metal cage to entice riders into the great outdoors. Riding in California is one of the greatest ways to experience the fun and challenge a motorcyclist craves. First, to make commuting more bearable, the fine art of lane splitting, once mastered, offers more than enough excitement to satisfy even the most masochistic rider’s need for an adrenaline rush. Cyclists all over the country envy Californians’ ability to legally ride through rush hour traffic, slithering along on the lane markers between the Lexuses and Range Rovers, leaving frustrated drivers in their wake to mutter into their car phones about missing Johnny’s baseball game because they are once again stuck in traffic in the Sepulveda Pass. An even better way to get from town to town in LA is to leave the boring, overcrowded freeways to ride the twisty, hilly canyon roads. Speeding along Topanga Canyon Road to reach the beaches of Malibu beats any amusement park ride known to man. (Of course, the operative word is speeding!) Words cannot describe the divergent views encountered on the stretch of Topanga Canyon from the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) to the 101 (Ventura Freeway). Finally, riders can choose to spend the entire day on the PCH, starting at the Mexican border heading north all the way to San Francisco. Along the way the ride along the coast travels through beach towns like La Jolla, Malibu, and San Luis Obispo, and past the naval warfare installations at Point Mugu, continuing as far north as Carmel and Big Sur before scenic overload necessitates a stop for the night to revel in the wondrous sites just encountered. All in all, not a bad way to explore the coast and take advantage of motorcycle friendly California.

In conclusion, motorcycling offers a unique experience to all who partake while the dangers previously associated with riding have been reduced. Women are coming into their own in a previously male-dominated arena. Improvements in handling, safety, and driver awareness reduce the element of danger, although with the increased popularity of extreme sports, people seem more willing to risk life and limb for thrills, chills, and spills. Finally, it can be argued that traveling by motorcycle, whether customized chopper, touring cruiser, or sport bike, can be the most exhilarating, enriching means to experiencing America at its best.