Sometimes a crime is a crime is a crime

Craig Stephen Hicks is in jail under charges of murdering three residents of the apartment complex where he lives. The victims,  Deah Shaddy Barakat, 23, a dental student at UNC, his 21 yr. old recent graduate wife, Yusor Mohammad, and her 19 yr. old sister, N.C. State student Razan Mohammad Abu-Salha, are Americans of Syrian ancestry and followers of Islam. Immediately people hearing of the killing of the defenseless young adults decried it as the act of an anti-Muslim. Then came word that Hicks is "an atheist" who hates all religion. And that is a problem because atheists don't "hate religion." They don't believe in a god. They don't hate that others do believe in gods, nor do they deny (or wish to deny) others that right. The fact is Hicks describes himself as an anti-theist. And there-in lies the difference. And a huge difference it is. Like the difference between John Smith not caring if you are a Catholic, or a Jew, or a Muslim, and John Smith HATING that about you to the point he is anti-Catholic, anti-Semitic, or anti-Muslim and lets that color how he treats (or mistreats) you, whether he patronizes your business, whether he bullies you, or worse. So taken at face value it would seem that Hicks is likely anti-Muslim. But that doesn't appear to be what triggered his rage. According to a report in the LA Times (and multiple other sources): 

"Karen Hicks said she had been married to the suspect for seven years and denied that he had acted out of hatred.

“He believes everyone is equal,” she said at a televised news conference. “ It doesn’t matter what the person looks like.”

"I can say that it is my absolute belief that this incident had nothing to do with religion or the victim’s faith, but in fact was related to long-standing parking disputes my husband had with various neighbords(sic) regardless of their race, religion or creed,” she saiid."

Oh, that should make the victims' families feel much better. It wasn't that he was anti-Muslim (or any other faith, which though still murder at least makes it somewhat easier to understand, historically speaking) or anti-Syrian-American (again, historically speaking...), it was that they PARKED in HIS SPACE. Is that not part of a man's right to stand his ground? Is that not a legitimate defense of THREE POIINT-BLANK SHOTS TO THE HEAD KILLING THREE PEOPLE?

”He was very disgruntled, very aggressive. He would scream at people,’’ said Samantha Maness, 25, (neighbor) ... He made everyone feel uncomfortable and unsafe, ..."

Maness said she never heard Hicks refer to anyone’s religion or race.

“He had equal opportunity anger toward all the residents," she said.

Well, it's good to know he believes in equality. Now let's see if he believes in the death penalty.

Je Suis Charlie

  There are a lot of people writing critical essays denouncing the outpouring of support for the cartoonists and staff of Paris' Charlie Hebdo magazine by citizens around the world, in the wake of yesterday's terrorist massacre in their offices. These writers are saying, essentially, that the cartoonists and editors at Charlie Hebdo were a bunch of privileged, white, male, racists who hated Islam. Some are claiming they were talentless hacks whose humor was sophomoric at best; that they hid behind free speech to promote hate and discrimination, especially towards France's fairly large (>8%) population of Muslims. I think these people are entirely missing the point of the rallies of support. The magazine's content is not the issue here: free speech is. Freedom of speech is a basic human right provided for in virtually every democratic and republican country. There are exceptions in some countries where certain speech is not allowed. Those exceptions mostly address words used to incite or create violence, physical threat, or terror. As well, certain criticisms and untruths, obscenity and child pornography are not protected as free speech. But as distasteful and offensive as some of Charlie Hebdo's work seemed to be, as risky as it was for them to publish that work under the threat of a violent response from extremist Muslims, one has to respect their willingness to exercise their basic rights of free speech and freedom of the press.

  I first heard of Charlie Hebdo a few years ago when their offices were firebombed. At that time they were publishing an issue that showed Muhammad on its cover. The editors of Charlie Hebdo were fully aware of one of the basic tenets of Islam, aniconism, the prohibition of presenting an image of Muhammad. A few years earlier a Danish magazine had sparked violent protests around the world when it published a series of cartoons depicting Muhammad and criticizing fundamentalist Islam. 

  Today, these writers are criticizing the masses for "standing with Charlie," for supporting everything ever printed in Charlie Hebdo, no matter its creativity, accuracy or intent. I think these writers are missing the point. Which is truly unfortunate because this point is the entire raison d'être of free speech. The point is to support free speech, whether you agree with what's being said, whether you agree with the speaker's ideologies, whether you agree with their attitude, their choice of words, their tone. The point is to respect EVERY speaker's (or cartoonist, or filmmaker, or artist) right to speak freely. That is a responsibility one must accept if one is to enjoy and exercise one's own right of freedom to speak openly and honestly without the fear of penalty or suppression. That is, of course, a simplistic legal definition of free speech. The official protections afforded by the state allow a good deal of leeway in the types of speech that are protected. Yet even then there are restrictions, exceptions made to protect the lives of others. Certain forms of hate speech are prohibited. In some countries it is illegal to criticize government or religious leaders. But this is not so in most democratic countries. And this is why controversy swirled around Charlie Hebdo. It seems they were on a mission to see how far they could overstep a line in the sands of the Middle East, purposely offending Muslims, especially extreme fundamentalist Muslims, by exploiting the taboo of presenting an image of the Prophet of Islam, Muhammad, in any graphic form. By frequently including editorial caricatures of Muhammad, even using those images as the magazine's covers, they pushed and pushed at the deeply held Muslim beliefs until, in 2011, Muslim terrorists pushed back, fire-bombing the Paris offices of Charlie Hedbo. The magazine's owners and staff vowed to regroup, to not be cowered by threats of violence. One of the owner/cartoonists, Stéphane Charbonnier, known to most as Charb, iterated his intent to continue exercising his right to criticize extremist Islamic fundamentalists through his cartooning. "i'd rather die standing than live on my knees." Such is how Charb saw not only his right but his responsibility to pursue his passion (some may describe it as obsession) for free speech and to expose terrorists even as he lived under police protection because of constant threats on his life. 

  And so the irony is that Charb's death came just as Charlie Hebdo was putting together its next issue. Charb and the other editors/owners, cartoonists and staff members were massacred  as they were "standing" for their rights. They refused to kowtow to the attempts of terrorists to silence them. They DIED because they believed in free speech. They WILLINGLY risked their lives by exercising that right. And so millions of us around the world have shown support and respect for their sacrifice. We are not championing the cartoons. The mere thought that that is the reason for a world-wide outpouring of support is offensive. No, what is being supported is a centuries-old tradition of men and women who so strongly believe in human rights that they are willing to put their lives on the line to protect those rights.

Political cartoons

Here's the cartoon that triggered these thoughts. And like a lot of my stuff, it's just stream of consciousness. Some is based on my upbringing, my personal observations and interactions with others. Some of my thoughts are influenced on reading, studying, researching over many years, both self-educating and academically. I have always had an eclectic interest in reading materials so some times I'm kinda all over the place. Maybe this introductory paragraph should be part of an About Me section so that's a thought. But for right now it's here. 
 So I've seen this political cartoon on a couple of people's pages. I started commenting and realized how much it made me think, how many questions it was triggering, and how freaking long my comment was getting. That's been happening a lot, lately. My posts and comments being freakishly long for Facebook. To the point where another person responded "Somebody needs a blog." And I thought, well, I HAVE one. Maybe it's time to get back to it. So, yeah. Here I am. What I don't understand is that I don't remember specific instances of being told how to behave around the police, just that I knew how. I understand the existence of systemic and institutionalized racism. But I'm always taken aback when I hear black parents saying "THIS is what we must teach our sons!" as if we all hadn't learned the same lessons at some point. I'm not trying to be disingenuous but if a lot of people (of any race) just actually behaved that way, many problem scenarios could be avoided. Maybe then the REAL problems would be glaringly exposed and more easily addressed. Because when I look at most confrontations between citizens and police, I first see SUSPECT vs COP unless there is some specific information that says it's racism, i.e. if a cop had a history of targeting blacks, or if racial slurs were used, or if reference was made to race or obvious bias, like asking what a black guy is doing in a white neighborhood. Though, nearly every time I've been stopped by police (admittedly all traffic related) I have been questioned as to where I was coming from and headed to, and had my vehicle searched from the outside. So what I'm struggling with is why I see that as normal but blacks see it as harassment. Can it be just because the numbers of incidents are skewed relative to demographics? Or because my mindset is just do what I'm supposed to do, sign the citation and be on my way rather than approaching any interaction with fear? Is it because I'm pretty secure in the knowledge that I'll just be on my way? Because I know that is likely what the end result will be? Is that white privilege? Or is that just being treated reasonably because I've shown respect? And II've been stopped by black, white, and Hispanic cops. Usually because I've deserved it. know when I see those flashing lights in my mirror and hear that pull-it-over whup whup of the siren, my palms get sweaty, my heart races, my stomach gets queasy. But I remind myself to just stay focused and not do anything stupid. I guess my mindset is that when you want a positive outcome, you try not to rock the boat. Sometimes the boat needs a good crashing wave, which it seems like it's getting now. But I don't want to see too many people focusing on small issues, bailing the boat out with Dixie cups, when what we really need to work on is the ballast.

Questions about Michael Brown's history

Sorry for such a long time since I've posted. There's been a lot going on and I've been spending most of my online time in discussions with others about the recent elections, politics in general, and current events. But I'm going to try to get back here as often as possible. One of the blogs I've been following closely is by a law enforcement officer involved in the events surrounding the protests and rioting in Ferguson, MO following the shooting death of black Michael Brown by white Officer Darren Wilson. It's a very well written blog from a great perspective. You can read it here: 

www.dissonantwinstonsmith.wordpress.com/2014/11/27/a-community-implodes/

So my latest post to him was full of questions on Michael Brown's background. He's been described repeatedly as a "gentle giant" but the gentle side of him seemed to be missing the day of his death. Both during a strong-arm robbery committed just before the interaction with Wilson and during that interaction, Brown was very aggressive, using his size to his advantage (6'5" and 290-300 lbs.) It just occurred to me that, even given all the news reports and social media I have been reading, I haven' t seen anything that goes into depth about his background. That triggers a lot of questions. So I'm asking them. Following is my post on the officer's blog.
www.dissonantwinstonsmith.wordpress.com/2014/11/27/a-community-implodes/
 You can find it under realBKW:

"This question has naught to do with this particular post, but it’s something I’m curious about. I know it’s been reported Michael Brown and Dorian Johnson were headed to the home of Michael’s grandmother, because he was living with her. Any confirmation on that? Is that truly where they were headed and did he really live there? If he did live with her, does anybody know why? Both of his parents are alive and involved in the activities following his death, so why wasn’t their son living with one of them? Being familiar with the area, do you know if there is a difference between where their homes are located and where the grandmother lives? Is one neighborhood “better” than the others? I’m wondering if, as in some cases, Brown had had some problems with his parents and been sent to the grandmother, or if he’d been sent there to be of help to her, or if his parents “abandoned him” to his grandmother. Also, if he did live with her, any idea how long he was there? How old was he when he went to her? I suppose it’s possible he’d just moved in to be closer to the tech school he was allegedly going to begin attending “that Monday.” Has anybody confirmed that he WAS going to start school? Hopefully you or someone else can shed light on this background info. I know it’s not uncommon in cases where there’s just a single mother and she has problems with addiction or finances or child neglect and the grandparent(s) raise the child(ren.) This happens in white families but I think moreso in black families. Or maybe the grandmother just lived in a better school district. Oh, that creates the question of where the parents live. Does either, or do both, live in Ferguson? Okay, that’s it. For now! Thanks to anybody who can help satisfy my curiosity!"

NFL Bad Boy in the Making

The New York Times' Marc Tracy reported on the actions of the youngest Heisman Trophy winner, Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, which triggered a recent one-game suspension. Allegedly Winston stood atop a table in the student union and shouted an obscene, vulgar phrase several times. It is a phrase that is especially offensive to women. Originally the school was going to sit Winston for only half the game because, well, it was an IMPORTANT game. Later somebody with a bit of a conscience decided the suspension be changed to a full game.

As Tracy writes,"Myron Rolle, a former Florida State safety who is now a member of the Knight Commission, which works to ensure that athletics programs operate within the educational mission of their universities, said he understood that Winston was held to a higher standard than the average student but added that there should be wider awareness that life can in some ways be more difficult for prominent student-athletes.

“This pressure and movement toward proper conduct and properly comporting himself has been thrust on him immediately, quickly, vigorously and with some serious voracity,” Rolle said of Winston, a friend."

Well, of course it would be more difficult for good, even great, student athletes (using the term student loosely in many cases) to lead perfect lives, as they are constantly under scrutiny. But those factors are part and parcel of the deal they make with the school. The athlete promises to play his best and to follow the rules, ALL the rules, of the school, the team, the NCAA and society in general. In return the athlete gets an (often free) education, the opportunity to play for a successful program and a path to a potentially VERY lucrative position in pro sports. Asking the athlete to be a good person shouldn't even be required, it should just be expected. Perhaps that's a big part of the problem. As we're seeing in the NFL, not for the first time but more at the forefront than before, athletes are not always good citizens. Some aren't even good people. Apparently they were not expected to be well behaved when they were younger, as Rolle points out that, at least in Winston's case, the expectation of "proper conduct and properly comporting himself has been thrust on him immediately..." When I was in elementary school we actually got grades in both conduct and comportment. Poor, fair, satisfactory or good, your parents were made aware of how you behaved at school. Very few scored a grade of poor or fair. And even then it likely only happened during one grading period because parents would take corrective action. Parents would take RESPONSIBILITY and teach their children to do so as well. Inferring that a twenty-year old college sophomore is not capable of proper behavior is an insult to young adults everywhere. Set aside the argument that there are 18-. 19-, and 20-year old young men and women with the maturity to go to war, or even to manage shifts at the local Starbucks. Consider the fact that, as a quarterback, Winston is expected to be a team leader. He's consistently shown he is not cut out for that role. He has a history of charges including vandalism, theft, and sexual assault. This is not a good kid. He's not a choirboy. And he's not learning any lessons from these experiences. After being lambasted on social media he issued an apology. Not to those he offended in person. Not to women he offended everywhere. To his teammates. Because he had the arrogance to think winning a football game was more important than his bad behavior. He then, after his suspension was extended from the first half to the entire game, had the audacity to dress for the game and participate in pre-game warm-ups. Like he couldn't believe the school would actually keep him out of the game. Especially if they were losing. He would be at the ready to jump in and save the game, suspension be damned. Because nobody puts Jameis in the corner.

The NFL: Are these guys for real?

So the NFL has announced it has hired four -count 'em. FOUR!- women to help it try and salvage what little it can of its highly self-proclaimed, self-polished, and self-promoted reputation for being in the forefront of welcoming women into the previously (mostly) male bastion of professional sports spectatorship. I know, I was snickering, too, as I wrote this. 

That reputation has recently been sullied by very public stories of domestic violence involving players' interaction with women and children. Well, two players, one woman and one child. Wait, make that two children. You can't even finish writing about one incident before another pops up. Now the NFL is trying to make us believe that it is going to start getting serious -no, seriously, we MEAN IT this time. Seriously serious.- about developing conduct codes and programs, and schedules of punishments and fines, to help its players and staff members be law abiding citizens when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Never mind they already have all those resources in place. This time they're going to have WOMEN make the rules. Cuz nothing makes a wife abuser more remorseful than being told how to behave by a woman. Yeah, they'll be open to that now. Because it will be oh so different with women making the decisions. (I'm not questioning these women's abilities or qualifications AT ALL. This is more about the NFL's poorly disguised attempt to make us believe they have women's and children's best interests in mind because, you know, women are women AND they are children's moms. And it's about how players will react to having women in charge.)

Is this supposed to placate women fans? Cuz, it ain't gonna work. We can see right through it. What they're really saying is that men can't figure this shit out so we had to go get a binder full of women to get us out of this cluster fuck. It's not that these women aren't qualified, it's that the NFL is using reverse discrimination, which is as bad as regular discrimination, to right a wrong involving the abuse of women. I hope they at least CONSIDERED some male candidates. There are plenty of men out there who know how to treat women and children with respect, who are civilized in dealing with issues in relationships without resorting to violence that knocks a woman's lights out with one punch or sends a four year old boy to the doctor with "lacerations" all over his thighs, and welts and bruises to his legs and hand because "that's how I was raised and look how well I turned out!" There is none so blind as s/he who will not see. 

In a couple of weeks the NFL will break out their pink accessories to show support for women with breast cancer. How about they drop that charade, which probably makes more money for the NFL through licensing and sales of pink jerseys and thongs (yes, America's professional football league sells thong underwear, and they name them! Bliss, Insider, Sublime! For the more prudish you can get panties with the same names and designs) than it generates for cancer research. What they SHOULD do is declare "Stop Violence Against Women and Children" month with players wearing purple accents and shoes, and instead of selling thong underwear they should hand out educational literature from the Coaching Boys Into Men program (http://www.coachescorner.org) to every adult attending games that month. Do PSAs. Sell alternate jerseys and other gear in purple instead of pink and donate the proceeds to domestic violence programs and shelters. Breast cancer awareness gets enough attention without the "help" of the National Football League. The NFL needs to start getting real about a different kind of cancer that seems to have metastasized throughout the league, and that is the cancer of violent behavior exhibited by athletes. The current focus is on domestic violence but it's not the only violence some NFL players have been accused of. But that discussion is for another time. And this cancer starts in the lower leagues where it goes untreated because athletes are heroes and we can't punish them because if they have to sit out a game or we kick them off the team we might lose. And they're just boys. They'll grow out of it. Only they don't grow "out of it," the just grow. They grow bigger. They grow stronger. They grow bolder. They grow more entitled. They grow more violent.

By partnering with the Coaching Boys Into Men program the NFL can show it is serious about educating players. They can start earlier in players' lives. Just like the PP&K programs, the Play 60 and Take A (hopefully non-violent) Player To School programs, the NFL can start educating child players about domestic violence. They can reach kids who are possibly being abused, who statistically will grow to be adult abusers. They can help children who may be witnesses of abuse at home or on the streets. They can show them where and how to get the help they need, especially if they are victims. And they can teach them not to victimize others.

As they get older, players need to learn to leave the physical confrontations on the field where they're part of the game, and don't bring that shit into their home lives. The NFL needs to get serious about ADEQUATELY punishing players who are convicted of violence against others. These players taint the reputation of the league, they cause distractions (and people thought a gay player would be a distraction?) and they foment anger and dissension among fans of a team dealing with a player suspected, accused, or convicted of violence against women or children, or in any other situation. Oh, BTW, does anybody else find it ironic that purple is the color used by anti-violence organizations in their ribbon and other promotional/educational campaigns, and the two players currently embroiled in this NFL/domestic violence debacle both play for teams whose main uniform color is PURPLE? What the WHAT?

The NFL holds seminars and teach-ins to help rookies adjust to life as a professional athlete. They learn about league and team codes of conduct, financing and wealth management issues, adapting to sudden fame and avoidance of hangers-on and money grabbers. According to one report, "The players won't be allowed to leave the premises without permission. They cannot have guests or drink alcohol. In addition, cellphones and pagers, as well as do-rags, bandannas and sunglasses are banned from the proceedings. The League is working hard to breed the thug life out of any rookie so inclined. From 8 a.m. until 10 p.m., the players must sit through lectures about the pitfalls that await the unwary: paternity suits and domestic-abuse charges, bar fights and drug stings, crooked financial advisers and greedy hangers-on." ( http://www.milehighreport.com/2010/6/27/1537666/the-rookie-symposium-the-nfls ) The wording of this suggests the players be aware of and prepared for FALSE "domestic abuse charges" when, in fact, they should be learning about how to deal with all these new situations without COMMITTING domestic violence.

The NFL should focus more on things like anger management, mental health, dealing with the pressures of living an abnormal life schedule while trying to be a family man. These should be ongoing seminars and attendance should be required of all players, not just rookies. 

In fact, all professional sports leagues would benefit from instituting these kinds of programs. Too many professional athletes have difficulties trying to live their lives well while dealing with the pressures and distractions that come the job and with new found riches and fame. The leagues use these players as tools of the trade, to be bought and sold to other teams or simply discarded when their production falters. They encourage them to be monsters in the arena. But the leagues need to become more socially responsible. They need to realize their obligations to their players don't end at the out of bounds markers or at the sound of the game-ending horn. They need to be aware of how players are coping with being part of the league and how that affects their behavior. They need to teach players to be good people off the field. Most players already know and live these truths. But enough don't that it's a problem. It's not necessarily a growing problem because there have always been bad boys in every league. Some players are even hired because they ARE bad boys, they have mean streaks and the attitude and size to punish people on the field. The problem is when that extends off the field. These incidents are now being brought into the open and society is demanding these off-field incidents be dealt with more harshly than in the past, that they be dealt with in a more serious we-will-not-tolerate-this manner rather than the old boys-will-be-boys attitude with its brief time outs where a player misses a start but jumps in on the next play, or maybe misses a full period of play and gets hit with a token fine that is not much more than his per-diem check.

On the surface, at least, the NFL does seem to now be getting it that they need to make some changes. Hiring all women to oversee these changes may turn out to be more than a publicity ploy or a bread-and-circus approach meant to appease detractors pointing out the NFL's willingness to take money from female fans while not taking seriously the safety of its own players' wives and girlfriends and children. They could help us believe in their recognition and acceptance of the gravity of the situation if they also hired a new commissioner and cleaned house of the men who still insist they had no idea how Janay Palmer was able to walk into an elevator unassisted but seconds later was dragged unceremoniously out of that same elevator car because she somehow became unconscious while in the company of her fiancé. They had no idea, until after seeing a security video showing how it only took one punch, in one second, to put her lights out, that any violent act had been perpetrated by Ray Rice. No idea. Not a clue. Pics or it didn't happen, as the kids say. Those guys are either incredibly stupid and delusional or they're arrogant and deceitful. They're either ignorant or they're outright liars. Whatever the case may be, they need to be gone. Every last one of them who had any part in reviewing this incident and deciding how it would be handled. Right up to the commissioner, who needs to do the right and honorable thing. Step aside and let a REAL man have that job. Even if that "man" is a woman, if that's what it takes, and she's qualified. 

The NFL is not the only sports league dealing with these issues. It just happens to be football season, and they "just happen" to have a couple of players currently under investigation in highly publicized cases as alleged perpetrators of domestic violence against women and children. Every year NFL players are arrested on charges involving violent behavior, or drunk driving, possession and use of illegal drugs. As a group, players are their own microcosm of society, so it's understandable that there will be a segment of their society that behaves thusly. Just as there is a segment in our greater society guilty of the same behaviors. It's just that the society these players belong to has the wherewithal to control those behaviors, to cleanse their society of illegal activity, to employ citizens who represent the wholesome image the heads of that society want to project. And most players DO. The MAJORITY of the players and coaches and owners of the NFL, and of all the other leagues, DO represent that image, both on and off the playing fields, in public and in private. The very reason these incidents make the headlines is BECAUSE they are NOT the norm. People don't need to read that Peyton Manning drove home safely from practice and later that evening played tickle monster with his little kids before dressing their unscathed, innocent toddler bodies in Disney Princess and Pixar Cars pajamas, reading them bedtime stories and planting wet kisses on their foreheads as he tucked them into bed. We EXPECT him to do that. It's what most of us do. That is normal behavior. TMZ is not going to show teasers about that. There will be no film at 11 of Peyton Manning's private life. 

Let's hope we can get to a point where the only highlights shown of professional athletes are of spectacular plays they've made on the field. Maybe four new NFL hires, all women, can get us here. Maybe the NFL is truly taking these problems seriously and hired capable women who have the ability to develop and oversee programs that help not only the NFL's image but help the players who need it the most. Maybe it's not a ploy, a publicity stunt, lipstick on a pig. I have a feeling these women are not the type to be complicit in that kind of self-serving activity. I think they mean to really turn things around. I think they know it's going to take more than some Campbell's Chunky Soup to get this train wreck fixed and back on track.

Disclaimer: I am a life long, die hard fan of the New England Patriots, back before the dynasty days of the 2000s, back to the colonial Pat the Patriot days of the Boston Patriots, before the young-Elvis New England Patriot was adopted. 

I know people may think me a hypocrite for now criticizing the NFL for allowing players suspected or guilty of violence off the field to continue to play ON the field. I now know the Patriots had a player who has a reputation for violence. I know that player now sits in a solitary cell awaiting separate trials for three murders. I know I unwittingly cheered that player enthusiastically because he excelled on the field. He was exciting. He played hard, he hit hard. But too I know I was clueless about his past run-ins with the law, the fights in bars and locker rooms, the threats of violence. Most of us were. Because that stuff is usually kept private and dealt with quietly. Especially with a team like the Patriots that controls access to players, controls what players are allowed to talk about publicly. It's a team in a league that likes to take care of matters in house. Except when it can't. And lately the league can't. So as a former Aaron Hernandez fan I am as guilty as anyone for supporting a player capable of unimaginable violent acts towards others. The key word in that sentence is FORMER. I learned of Hernandez's alleged acts and immediately decided he was no longer one of my favorite players. I hoped the Patriots would release him so I wouldn't be put in a position to want him to be a successful player who would help my team while knowing what a jerk he is. I am on the side of "let's get these guys off the field and get them help." I argue with people who say it's not our business. That what a player does off the field should not affect his right to play. I say playing pro sports is not a right and that a team or league can decide not to employ someone who creates bad publicity and tarnishes the team/league's public image. But I also think players should be given the opportunity to redeem themselves and earn their way back onto a team, into a league DEPENDING on what their bad behavior was. A player who grew up in an abusive home and is continuing that cycle of abuse can be helped. He can learn to break that cycle. A player with a substance abuse problem can be helped. A player with anger management issues can be helped. These are the kinds of players who can earn second chances and work to regain the trust of their owners, coaches, teammates, and fans. They can earn back their spot on a team. But there are players who should only ever again be allowed in a stadium if they have a game ticket. Whether convicted of a crime in criminal court or just in the court of public opinion, some players just do not belong. The only uniform an Aaron Hernandez-like player should wear is a prison uniform, the numbers printed in small type identifying him as a prisoner, the name on the uniform identifying the prison that now owns him. His newest contract would be a judicial decree that specifies how many years the corrections department gets him. There is no signing bonus. There is not a number followed by six zeroes guaranteeing fat pay checks. He might be released after doing his time while still young and healthy enough to play again, but he should not be allowed to do so. Some acts are unforgivable. Some men do not deserve the chance to bask in the glory of a sports victory; some men have given up that right. They cannot be allowed to enjoy "The Thrill of Victory" after causing someone else "The Agony of Defeat."

http://www.nflrush.com/play60/kidsprograms/

http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2014/9/15/nfl-hires-women-advisedomesticviolencepolicy.html

http://m.nflshop.com/search/Thong

http://www.milehighreport.com/2010/6/27/1537666/the-rookie-symposium-the-nfls

Good-bye, Derek Jeter. Red Sox Nation will miss you

Every once in awhile the sports world is blessed by the presence of a true sportsman. A true role model. Sometimes these players are champions. Sometimes they are journeyman who toil away at their sport, day in and day out, game after game after game. Derek Jeter, SS, number 2 in your New York Yankees' scorecard, is such a player. He's heading into the last couple of weeks of the season. He's heading into the last weeks of his career. Watching him over the years has been quite a treat, even for those of us who are not exactly Yankees fans.  No, he hasn't been great. But yes, he's been that special.

He isn't the best player to ever play the game. He's not even the best player to ever play as a Yankee. But what he is, WHO he is, is one of the best MEN to play the game. With a guy like Jeter it's not just what he does on the field or in the batter's box that makes him a joy to watch. That's athletic ability: raw talent and hard work. Jeter's career relied on both. Many do. What put him over the top, though, what makes him the Yankee whom Yankees haters everywhere love, is "The Complete Package." It's that special ingredient a guy like Jeter brings to the mix; that secret ingredient that makes the biscuits rise a little fluffier, keeps the steak juicy, the fruit salad sweet. It's whatever it is that makes a game time hot dog taste like actual food!

Derek Jeter is the anti-A-Rod. He is what we fans, true fans, of sport like to call a Class Player. He's the kind of player who quietly gives everything he has to the game, and when the game is over he digs down deep and finds something more to give to the community. There can't be a baseball fan in America who doesn't know who Derek Jeter is. There may be a couple who don't particularly like him. MAY be. Those are usually pseudo-fans who take it personally when a player like Jeter quietly destroys their favorite team's playoff hopes. They are the pseudo-fans who don't care about the game, whose only concern is that night's box score. They don't care about career numbers. They don't care that the guy who loses a bit of speed, a couple of inches of field coverage, makes up for it with courage and grit and experience. They don't care about a player with heart. A player who maybe contributes more to his team in the locker room, on the practice field, in the dugout day in and day out. No, they care only about stats. True fans care about stats, too. But we also care about heart. We respect the player who quietly shows up at the park and BOOM! Let's his play do the talking. We go to watch those players, we cheer for them, we feel for them, whether they play for our team or our rivals. *Disclaimer: I am a lifelong, die-hard, Red Sox Nation card carrying member of the other side in one of the most heated rivalries in sport. Yes, I like Derek Jeter as a player. I love what he has brought to the game. I respect him as a man. BUT I AM A RED SOX FAN. I HATE THE YANKEES! But I am also a true fan of sports, and I appreciate players more than teams. I won't change team affiliations when a player is traded. But I'll still follow that player and cheer for him, even if he plays against "my" team. I think that's why I like and respect Derek Jeter so much. If the opposing team makes a great play, I will stand and cheer because their play is just as important to the outcome of the game, and I am there to see a good game. I don't live or die by wins and losses. And that's what I see in No. 2. He comes to play his best, to give the fans his best performance. And he appreciates it when opposing players do the same. On any given day they may play better but still,a Derek Jeter does his best.

Yes, Derek Jeter is this era's face of the Yankees, and ladies, he ain't been hard to look at! He's greatly respected by coaches, teammates, opponents, and fans sitting behind both dugouts. He's greatly respected by sports writers and play-by-play announcers. He's greatly respected by The Game. Because he's shown, through the years, how a real player respects The Game.

Thank you, Derek Jeter. Thank you for sharing your talent, your drive, your heart with us. May you enjoy the rest of your life in peace.

Everybody Have Fun Tonight! Everybody Wang Chun Tonight!

 Does anybody know a good party planner? A really good one who's willing to work online. I'd look for a local party-planner but I need to plan a pity party, and a local Cleveland-area party-planner would probably allow their own yeah-I-live-in-Cleveland self-pity influence his or her choices for MY party. See, that's the thing about a pity party. You don't wanna be bothered trying to dredge up pity or empathy for SOMEBODY ELSE! This is MY pity party. The focus needs to be on me. All of the focus. Only on me. Besides, if you started telling some bullshit story, real or imagined, to try and elicit sympathy from me or to draw attention away from my plight and onto yours, I GUARANTEE I can top whatever story you come up with. Complete with x-rays to back it up. Don't even try. You'll be pitied... For all the wrong reasons.

The party planner will have to have some decent connections to make this party a success. For instance, sourcing the Coke. It has to be really good shit. None of that Coke cut with powders like aspartame. In fact, for a really good buzz you gotta get the Coke from the Mexican Coke dealers. It's not that hard to get it into the country. It has a reputation for being some of the best Coke out there. It's the real deal, made with real sugar. No high fructose corn syrup. Not in the good Coke. And none of that "gold" Coke, either; that stuff with no caffeine in it is pointless. Especially the Diet Caffeine Free Coke. WTF is that, anyway? No caffeine, no sugar? Where is the love, baby?

If you can't find good Mexican Coke, try and score some Throwback Pepsi which also has real sugar. But it's bottled in America and just not quite as good as the Mexican shit.

For food, there MUST be chocolate. And cupcakes. In fact, you really can't go wrong with chocolate cupcakes. Balanced by something salty, like Ruffles potato chips with California French Onion Dip. Yeah, that crap you make with a packet of Lipton onion soup mix and a pint of full-fat sour cream. You might be able to get by with a good low-fat sour cream. But try sneaking some of that dip made with yogurt past me and you'll be planning your own pity party. The same goes for baked potato chips. Those are not potato chips, they are potato snacks made from potato powder. Why do you think they're all the same shape and size and come in a can? Yeah, you probably think McNuggets are real parts of a chicken, with real chicken meat. Maybe you SHOULD be pitied. But not at my party. Seriously, don't try and pull that shit on me.

Following are the information essentials a good party planner will find a way to share with the guests:

Dress code - definitely needs to be casual. Not casual like Casual Friday and you work at the freakin' White House so wingtips but no tie. Casual like t-shirts with rock stars or profound sayings on them or, even better, t-shirts with profound witticisms spoken by rock stars. From a tour at least five years ago or before the lead guitarist OD'd, whichever came first. No long pants. Just shorts. Casual like gym or hiking shorts, not the Bermuda shorts with the knife-sharp crease down the legs your mom irons for you. Docker shorts are fine IF they are appropriately faded and washed out, bonus if they are frayed. No cut-off jeans. It is, after all, a respectable party for grown-ups. Women can wear a tee without profound sayings but they must not have animals on them. Exception, an alligator over the left breast is acceptable. As is a bear in the case of an authentic Boston Bruins tee. But not cutesy cat shit, or dogs in stupid outfits. Those animals would be pitied more than me and they should have their own damn party.

Footwear- the preferred footwear is sneakers with or without white socks. White ankle socks. No peds with cute little balls hanging off he back. That goes for the ladies, too. No tube socks leftover from the Jimmy Carter era. Jimmy Carter is a wonderful man who doesn't get the credit or respect he deserves for his presidency but who never should have worn tube socks. Neither should you. And no colored socks. I'm not racist. I just don't think there's a place at my party for colored socks. Colored socks are for geeks, nerds, and people who wear long pants to the beach while trolling for lost costume jewelry and Spanish doubloons with a metal detector. You can wear boat shoes or flip flops but then the socks are definitely out. Again, no drawing pity attention to yourself and away from the pitiful guest of honor. That would be me. But if you do the flip flops, make sure those nails are trimmed and free of fungi. Otherwise pretend you're Gisele Bundchen or Tom Brady and cover those bad boys up with UGG boots. 

Any half-decent party planner knows how critical music is. For a good pity party there needs to be a mix of upbeat surfing ditties and not-quite-country "somebody stole my pick-up with my dog and my best friend passed out in the back" ballads. Music from the 60's to the 90's. The NINETEEN 60's. None of that classical waltz stuff from the 1860's. This is a pity party, not some bitchy princess' debutante ball. The only waltzing acceptable at this party would be by Matilda dancing with Crocodile Dundee. Or Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. I don't care, as long as there's a dancing Kangaroo.

Gifts: that "The best present is your presence" request for no gifts is bullshit. Anybody who tries to pull that lame ass stunt will immediately go on the party planner's email list to be bombarded with offers from the party planner to help you plan your own pity party. That's how sad it is for you to try and get away without springing for a gift. This is a pity party and nothing lifts the spirits of the pitied better than free crap. The more expensive, the higher the lift! Yes, there is a definite correlation between how cool and expensive your gift is and how happy you will make me for that fleeting moment between the time I open the gift and the instant reality bites and I realize how much my life sucks that I need material things to make me happy. Lots of material things. Or chocolate. 

So keep your eye out for your own special e-vite. The first one will be a save-the-date request. The second will be an announcement of the time and place. The third, fourth, and fifth emails will be reminders to go online and order that honking big and/or expensive gift that will make you so happy because we all know it is better to give than receive. And if it needs batteries or a charger, don't be a tight-wad and pretend you didn't know. And don't go in on a gift, letting a buddy give the battery/charger. No. That is ONE complete gift, from one person. Unless you are a couple; it's okay for couples to give a gift together. A bigger, more expensive gift.

Just When You Thought It was Safe to Turn the Lights Out

This is the weird dream I had last night. It was so weird I remembered it all when I woke up. Hours later I can still "see" this very clearly. If you can figure out what it means, please post a comment!

I flew out to LA and rented a car. I drove to Anderson Cooper's to spend the night. I parked my green Toyota rental car on the street and went in to Anderson's.  He was wearing a ridiculous brown wig. I met his girlfriend. I thought she looked familiar. She was chef Robert Irvine's wife, an Asian-American female wrestler. At some point I realized my rental car had been stolen.  Anderson and what's-her-name had a wonderful Christmas Eve w/friends while I spent the night trying to figure out what to do about the car. Then right before bed Anderson told me they were leaving on a 6am flight to visit his mother in New York.  It was already about 3am. I was still on the phone, trying to get through to the car rental agency,  trying to get cops to take a stolen car report, and trying to figure out how to get to the airport to fly home the next day.  Anderson and "the girlfriend" left for the airport and stuck me with taking care of the cat and dog. I looked all over for a leash to take the dog out but couldn't find one. So I locked the dog upstairs with the cat. After not being able to get "through" to either the rental agency or the cops, I finally got a ride to the airport...and woke up.

So with this dream still vivid in my mind, I have all kinds of questions:

How did I get to be such good friends with Anderson Cooper? (Or do I call him Andy?)  Why does he live in LA? In a crappy neighborhood? And why is the gay Anderson Cooper living with Robert Irvine's wife? Why didn't they or any of their friends offer to help me? Why did he make me sleep on the couch? How could they stay up until 3am, then go to bed, and STILL get to LAX and make a 6am flight? 

Some of this I can explain away. Anderson Cooper? Well, he IS cute, and who wouldn't want to be friends with him? Robert Irvine's wife? Uh, I got nothin'! I have no explanation for any of that. Is she still married to Irvine? If so, why was she living with Anderson? The stolen car? Yeah, I have had a couple of break-in/stolen car incidents, and one did happen around Christmas, but on Christmas NIGHT, not Eve, and in Atlanta, not LA. Not being able to speak to a real person at a car rental agency at 3am on Christmas morning just kinda makes sense, no explanation necessary. Anderson and his girlfriend making their flight? Simple. Hollywood magic. Not being able to let the dog out to pee? Well, right before going to sleep I'd texted Nick and asked him to let Rowdy out after he got home and before he went to bed. And the ridiculous brownish wig Anderson was wearing? I saw Andy Richter wearing it during a commercial for the Conan O'Brien show that aired during the Sox game. Come to think of it, I'll bet the Red Sox loss was the cause of this whole thing. But I'll still watch the next game!

Technology Circles

So, in the beginning, cavemen and cavewomen used to draw on walls. We call that prehistoric art. When young men and women draw on walls today, no matter how artistic or profound the message, we call it graffiti and vandalism and have it removed or painted over, and if caught, the artist is arrested. But in reality graffiti is a valid form of communication, just as cavemen's drawings were their way of communicating with each other, and of leaving their stories for the future.

In later years families would gather around the large living room radio, listening to important news broadcasts, storytellers, or music and sometimes shows. Some of the shows were one time performances, some were early game shows in the form of quiz shows. Some were broadcast in parts with stories spread over several shows, like episodic television we now call sitcoms or dramas. Back then they were serialized stories.

For years, people would carry verbal or written messages from one person to another. Or they would send brief messages by carrier pigeons (precursor to air mail?) and then by telegraph. And when people  would send their messages on telegrams they would necessarily be brief, using abbreviations and omitting extraneous words to save money.  Brevity was cheap. One had to go to a telegraph office to send and pay for the message, which would be translated into Morse code to be sent over copper lines. The telegraph operator in another town would receive and decode the message, and a paper copy of it would be delivered to the recipient. Nowadays people encode, send, open, decode and read the messages on their own. We call it texting. Brevity is still the way to go.

People used to call on the phone when it was a party line. You would call a friend and, without you being aware, Ethel across the street could just pick up her headset and listen in. Many people like Ethel would then share whatever they heard with their friends. Important information was printed up in newspapers or announced on the radio.  Now we write whatever is happening, or how we are feeling, what we're doing, what our thoughts are on any subject, by sharing on our and others' virtual walls in Facebook. 

People used to take precious photos of family and friends and others on special occasions. They would send away their film and wait days and sometimes weeks for their black and white film to be developed and printed. The photos, for the most part, were carefully planned because of the costs of developing and printing the images. Even the 'candid' shots were considered carefully by the photographer. Sometimes the photos would be tinted or have color applied by hand. Then came the invention of colored film.  Those photos were precious and put in albums ( books of special paper) to be cherished and handed down from generation to generation. Often there was writing on the front or sometimes the back, naming the event and the people in the photos.  Now we use camera/phones and take as many photos as we want of every damn thing we see, because it doesn't cost anything. And when we label the event or people, we call it 'tagging.' We use Instagram to add color and special effects to the images. We put our photos in digital albums and rarely look at them. We share a few, compared to how many shots we have taken, but most stay stored away on hard drives or memory sticks, never to be seen again, like the albums in the attic. And those we do share, we share by sending digital copies and there is no cost, no extra prints to be ordered or time to wait. We can send that photo of the whale we saw off Martha's Vineyard to a friend on a whale watch off the California coast, and they can send back THEIR whale pix in a matter of seconds. Then we can either call or, more likely, text to converse about who is seeing more whales and getting better pictures.

It used to be some families were fortunate and one member of an extended family would have a moving picture camera. He would be the designated family occasion documentarian, first shooting without sound and later editing the film by splicing it, and adding sound. This was extremely tedious work and a thankless job for the cameraman, whom we never saw in the films because nobody else knew how to operate the camera. Then there was a time when the wealthy or hobbyists could afford video cameras, and pretty much anybody could 'film' the most mundane events, because videotape was relatively cheap and the cameras were easy to use. If we didn't care for the images or the event was boring, we just deleted or taped over those parts.

But we were still a little picky about taking videos everywhere because the cameras were bulky and the cameraman had to look through an eyepiece and so generally was not in the shot and missed out on activities. Unless he put the camera on a table or tripod, where it would promptly be bumped and there would be hours of footage of a wall or people's feet, or aunt Matilda dozing in a chair with a cat on her lap, which was cute for a few seconds but not forty-three minutes. But no matter, we can delete and fast forward through that part, or tape over it.  Now nearly everybody considers themselves photographers and videographers, story tellers and record keepers, because nearly everybody has a phone with apps that allow them to take photos and videos, and to send messages without ever speaking a word to anybody. We can download apps (applications) that will help us edit that pre-school recital video into a full-scale Broadway musical. We write on virtual walls on Facebook, adding photos or drawings made with apps. We carry on entire conversations via texting or even send briefer messages via Twitter, using weird abbreviations and omitting words to reduce a message to 140 characters or less.

The phones not only connect us to each other, they can connect us to our homes, controlling practically any controllable device including lights, the stove, the television, the music system. There are apps that can open your garage door and run diagnostic analysis on your car. There are apps that will start your car on a cold day. There are personal apps that will checkout your symptoms and tell you if you have a simple, brief illness or if you should hurry yourself to an ER. Or call an ambulance. And when many people use their phones in public, especial those using hands-free devices like Blue Tooth headsets, it brings us back to the old party line, where the rest of us can (have to?) listen to one or both sides in a conversation. It seems the old adage is true. The more things change, the more they stay the same!

An Open Letter to the U.S. Congress

A CNN headline today reads "Cruz: GOP will win"

I wish you politicians would stop treating governing a country as a freaking game! It's NOT! Not to us Americans, anyway. Not to the people you have SWORN to represent to the best of your ability. Your "game" is toying with the jobs and livelihoods of nearly a million government workers alone, nevermind all the people who work for businesses that support the government: suppliers of equipment, parts, materials, even office products; local businesses, stores, restaurants, coffee shops, lunch places normally patronized by govt. workers or the workers from ancillary businesses. Even local mass transit systems are suffering. Millions of people are being hurt, financially and emotionally, by your pettiness. 

If you can't find it in your hearts, assuming you have them, to do your jobs for the people you represent, do it to protect the reputation of this great country. We are losing all kinds of respect from members of the international community. And not just respect, but faith. And money/business. This loss of business is creating a domino effect in some other countries as foreign suppliers of goods and raw materials to the U.S. government see their companies suffering losses, forcing them to layoff or fire their own employees. 

Yes, in case you haven't forgotten, we are part of a GLOBAL economy. We are, or at least we have been, a large part of that economy. And we are still, for now, anyways, the most powerful country in the world. We are the world leader in the eyes of many. But you politicians are chipping away at our power, our standing, our very reputation all in the name of gamesmanship.

It is about time for you to put aside your petty differences, to stop trying to fool us, your constituents, into thinking that somehow the government shutdown has been caused by the implementation of the ACA. We are not as stupid as you seem to think we are. We KNOW the budget and debt ceiling and a Continual Resolution are all tied to your inability to pass a budget and to agree on funding the government. The ACA, "Obamacare," is a program that is already taking effect. IT IS LAW. It has been upheld by the Supreme Court. It is NOT a bargaining chip to be used by politicians. The budget is not, in any way, tied to the ACA. This is pork-barrel politics at its worst. The time for you to express opposition to "Obamacare" has passed.  If you feel the need to make changes to the program, there are procedures in place to do so. Holding the government hostage is not one of them. It is not a reasonable or valid means to solving any situation. It is merely a childish, expensive, and dangerous ploy. 

Congress MUST stop holding our government, nay our COUNTRY!, and us, the people, hostage to their petty political games. Congress MUST recognize the need to keep our government processes running smoothly, without disruption. Congress MUST recognize, accept, and act on its duty to work together to find an agreeable and equitable solution to the budget crisis, to compromise where need be, to set aside partisanship and instead embrace their (YOUR!) duty to represent ALL Americans and to enact legislation that keeps our government functioning. 

Congress needs to act, and ACT NOW to return our government to a fully functioning entity. Congress needs to ACT NOW to restore our faith that our governing bodies have our and our country's best interests in mind. Congress needs to ACT NOW to get our government employees back to work, to get our government programs fully up and running properly again. Congress must ACT NOW to help America's businesses, some large, many small, who have been hurt by a loss of business due to the government shutdown. 

Congress must ACT NOW to do the job they were elected to do. Congress must ACT NOW to keep America at the forefront in world leadership, and to restore faith in the U.S. from the international community, faith that we will not self-destruct and in so doing cause the collapse of the world economy, resulting in unrest, civil disobedience, violent uprisings and complete and utter chaos at home and abroad. That sounds like an exaggeration, but that IS where we are headed if Congress continues to play its games unchecked. It is fast becoming a dangerous game with serious, deadly consequences. Especially in these days of unprecedented use of social media to quickly gather groups intent on making their wishes known in supporting a cause, and the equal ability of opposition groups to form as quickly in the same place at the same time. Eventually there will be violent clashes between these groups and law enforcement will be brought in to try and regain control. This is how rioting starts. And it will spread to other communities, metropolitan, suburban, even rural. And seeing such violent unrest in our country will cause concern and, in reaction, unrest in other countries. Again, yes, it will be dangerous, and yes it will be deadly. In the US and elsewhere it may even lead to martial law. But inside the hallowed halls of our Capitol Building, our Representatives and Senators will watch the violent destruction on television screens, under the protective eyes of the few security officers still working during the government shutdown. And they will continue to roll the dice and play their games, refusing to call to an end this ridiculous charade of running a government when what they are doing is throwing sand at others in the sandbox, bullying each other, and destroying people's lives in the process.

It all comes down to this- to paraphrase a recently popularized satire of a children's bedtime storybook: "Go the FUCK to Work!"

Why They Call It Practicing Medicine Instead of Doing Medicine

Sometimes the internet is a scary place to be. I got the radiologist's report on the x-rays and ultrasounds I had done last week. At first I thought "AWESOME! My knee is taking me on vacation to Mexico!" Cuz, you know, what else do you think of when you see the word 'baja?' Mexico, right? Sun, surf, tequila! But not when it's preceded by the word patella. Who knew baja was a medical term? And a not so good one at that. And that's where the internet comes in. You know how as soon as you start getting some weird symptom and you go on the internet to self-diagnose? Yes, you do. You KNOW you do it! And whatever you think you have, the cure is ALWAYS worse than the 'disease.' Well, I haven't been to see the specialist yet. I see him on Thursday. The one who specializes in "complex knee reconstruction." But if everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, I've seen on the internet is true, then I can only believe that what the 'regular' orthopedic surgeon told me the other day is true. More surgery. That's the bad news. The good news is, Finally, an answer to the excruciating pain I've been having!

My previous surgeon kept telling me to "give it time. It could take a year or more for it to heal." A year later, "just give it some more time and keep working at it." Yeah, easy for HIM to say.

 Nearly two years now, and it's been getting worse, not better. To the point even I can't take it any more. And I think I've proven over the years that I can take boatloads of pain. So I finally went to see a different surgeon.  My old surgeon and the physical therapists kept telling me my quadriceps had healed and was working fine. "It's 'firing' when you flex it, so it's healed." I just needed to rehab more. (The surgeon had needed to cut through the quad to replace the knee joint [for the third time, after two infections].) All I knew was that I'd been working on it every day and still it hurt like hell. Even worse, sometimes. And I figured I had given it enough time to heal, and rehab was NOT getting me anywhere. No matter how hard I tried, I could not straighten my leg. I had NO extension ability. You know that exercise where you're sitting with your legs bent and you lift them up straight? Yeah, I can't do that with my left leg. According to the doctor who did the surgeries, it should have been happening. After each visit I'd leave even more dejected and depressed. And frustrated. Actually, frustrated doesn't even begin to cover it. Plus, sometimes I could barely walk.

The pain management doctor didn't want me taking pain meds. He thought I should go through the Chronic Pain Rehab Program again. I quit going to the psychologist because each week was just a repeat of the week before, and she agreed I should try Pain Rehab again. Personally, not only could I not see the point in it since I knew it doesn't get rid of the pain, just teaches you how to deal better while you lived with it, I knew how painful the program itself would be, the way the treatment areas were set up and all the walking and constant sitting involved. So that was not an option worth considering, as far as I was concerned. Thus when I went in for my physical last week and the doctor asked why I was in such a funk, and I told her, she gave me a referral to a different surgeon, and her scheduler was able to get me an appointment that week! After looking at my X-rays he ordered an ultrasound, which they were able to do same day. And that's how I got an answer to my prayers. Not the answer I'd hoped for, really. Not the optimal answer. But one I could live with, if it meant ending the pain and allowing me to walk around again like a real person! And one that didn't make me feel like a failure or that it was my own lack of effort that was causing the problem! I'm NOT a whiner! Or a weenie! There really IS a reason why my thigh was (is) killing me!  Apparently your quadriceps and patella tendons need to be intact in order for the leg to work right, and without what feels like a knife attack with every step. Or at least what I imagine a knife attack would feel like, never having actually been stabbed before.  But since stabbing is one of the descriptors they use on the pain chart, yeah, that's what it feels like. And speaking of those pain charts, sometimes a ten does n't cut it ( no pun intended.) And the chart with the faces? They need a face that looks like the shower scene in Psycho. That would perfectly describe the stabbing pain. Eeeee! Eeeee! Eeeee!

So, hey, back to the doctor's office. That lack of range of motion? NOT my fault! It's NOT a lack of effort! It is, literally, physically impossible for me to do leg extensions! Or to walk without pain! All this time I've been walking around on torn muscles. One of which is supposed to be one of the strongest muscles in your body. And not only that, apparently the knee replacement joint, the rod part that fits inside the femur, has loosened. Which adds to the pain. So, yeah. That's why I've missed so much and why I've been kinda cranky sometimes.

The surgeon I saw the other day has recommended that I go see the specialist surgeon. And once again, by having his office make the appointment, I was able to get in to be seen within a week. I LOVE the Cleveland Clinic! Well, as much as one can love a health care system. And okay, It may sound weird for somebody to be looking forward to surgery. But if surgery is what it takes to fix this, and according to what the surgeon told me and everything I've read about it, it's the ONLY way to fix it, bring it on! I'm just sorry I waited this long to switch surgeons. If I could do it without falling over, I'd be kicking myself! I could have saved myself a lot of aggravation and pain. And I could have been out living my life and enjoying myself instead of having daily pity parties. 

Unfortunately, my timing sucks, if my research is right. Of course I won't know for sure until everything is fixed, and I'll have a better idea after seeing the specialist, but it looks like surgical repair and 4-6 weeks of immobilization followed by 6-8 weeks of partial weight bearing, which means crutches. So figure a minimum of eight weeks on crutches. That pretty much rules out traveling to Maine in early November. Which means missing ANOTHER family get-together. Well, half the family, anyway, since it's women's weekend. But I was really, REALLY looking forward to the weekend, which is always a blast! So, once again I have to console myself with "There's always next year!" I think I can live with that.

UPDATE: Went to see the newest surgeon. So the spaces around the knee replacement implant (hardware) are too large for repair; there's not enough bone left. And those spaces are filled with infection. This specialist feels the problem is outside the scope of what he normally deals with and so has referred me to his partner, who is even more specialized. Still trying to get that appointment but have a follow-up this week to discuss plans for course of antibiotics after surgeon consults with infectious disease specialist. Here we go again!

What's In a Name? A Footballer's Name?

Cleveland has a large Slavik community, so there are a lot of people out here with names that some of us find hard to pronounce and even harder to spell (and this from a lifelong fan of a guy named Yastrzemski!). And there are Ohioans with names that are easy to say, easy to spell, but still cause a giggle. Have you seen the commercials that say "With a name like Smucker's, it HAS to be good!"? Yup, The Smuckers are Ohioans. From Orrville. Not to be confused with that other Orville. Redenbacher, that is. I don't know if he's from Ohio but he makes pretty decent popcorn. And HE is not to be confused with Dayton's Orville, Wilbur's brother. Not Mr. Ed's Wilbur. The flying Wilbur. As in Orville and Wilbur Wright. The Wright Bros. But those names really aren't "in favor" anymore. And neither is Norval, which kinda rhymes with Orville but isn't spelled anything like it. But that's the name of one of the Browns' assistant coaches. He's been around the NFL a time or two, and most of us know him as Norv. Norv Turner, football coach. He's an assistant to a guy whose name may or may not be Slavik but is, at least, likely Eastern European. So Head Coach Rod Chudzinski should fit right in around these parts. Though I'm not sure how well that name fit when he was a kid. Kids can be cruel about things like that, things you can't control. Like your name. Chudzinski. Is it worse than Dick Butkus? Well, I suppose given his size not too many kids made fun of Dick Butkus. At least not within his hearing range. But the 2013 Cleveland Browns have added a challenge. They have a rookie player who hails from Louisiana. And even THAT cannot explain his name. This kid has a pretty good reputation as a tough ballplayer. He's won a lot of awards. AND he was drafted in the first round. But it's likely a lot of people will hear more about him because of his name than his play. It's not a modern name that harkens back to guys named Knute. It's not a name which can conveniently be changed to rhyme with a trophy, like Theisman. It's not even a football-great-sounding name like the Patriots players Gronkowski, Gostkowski, or Ninkovich. Even Hoomanawanui doesn't faze people, given the number of guys of American Samoan heritage who have played in the NFL recently. Polamalu, anyone? But back to the Browns. Ironically, the Cleveland faithful are sometimes called The Dawgs, as in The Dawg Pound, the fan seating area in the endzone. And why is that ironic? Because the new kid's name is...wait for it....

Barkevious.

 No. No typo here, folks. Not even as I type this on the typo-infamous iPad. Barkevious. I kid you not. It's right there on the Interwebs. It's on the Browns' game program, right next to the number 51. It's on the marketing materials, his contract.  Above the 51 on his jersey is the name Mingo. That's his last name. Fortunately for the play-play guys and the color commentators. Because, I know it's childish, and I don't mean to be cruel, but he ain't nuthin' but a hound dawg. A Cleveland Pound Dawg. Barkevious. AKA Ke-Ke. Or whatever he wants to be called. Because he's a big, strong ball player, out to make a name for himself. Though who could forgive him if he changed it to something a little less, shall we say, unusual? He could always change it to Cinco Uno.

The Fine Art of Digression (or How One Can Turn Any Conversation Into an Anti-Yankees Dig)

Almost had to use the comforter last night but put on flannel jammies instead. I guess fall is upon us. That in-between time when you don't know what to wear. Which is why God and our friendly purveyor Leon Leonwood invented layers. You are a true Yankee if you know who Leon Leonwood was. An even truer Yankee if you hate THE Yankees! Who probably won't even be in the playoffs this year. Too bad. So sad. Screw 'em. But we should savor these last coupla weekends of the regular season because it's the last time we'll have to hit against Mariano and possibly Pettite. And who knows if Jeter will be celebrating his 40th next summer in pinstripes? And (please god make it happen) the last time Alex Rodriguez will find himself anywhere near a ballfield again, unless he buys a ticket. But there I go, digressing again. Anyway, I hope everybody else is experiencing the same beautiful but too chilly for shorts but actually good for sleeping at least in your jammies weather that we are here in Cleveland. Where I don't even have to look at the standings to know the Indians won't make the playoffs. Which is sad because I was hoping, with Terry Francona managing... Oh, well. At least the Browns haven't lost yet. But give 'em a chance. There's always the first game this weekend.

BTW, Leon Leonwood was that, I'm assuming friendly-as-a-guy-from-northern-Maine-in-the-late-1800s-could-be-without-things-getting-weird(er?), ol' coot LLBean. But you knew that, didn't you? 

It Really is Okay to Be Takaei! Or a Supporter.

We'll.have to work on a name for that. Right now it's the Takei Straight Alliance. And, in fact, that's how this post started out. As a response to questions people had and comments they made about some T-shirts George Takei sells and is promoting. But, again I digressed off topic. Well, not really so much off topic but deeper than I needed to go, addressing social issues instead of just merchandising. So I brought my comments over here to share. This started as a Facebook post and is straight off the cuff. I will probably go over it tomorrow, make some minor changes, maybe add some major thoughts. But here it is for now, in all its naked glory. Don't worry. I used that term figuratively, not literally. There will be no naked pictures accompanying this article. None.

From Facebook, George Takei's page:
Uncle George, it seems the shirts are being printed as ordered. That means there's no pre-printed stock. It shouldn't be difficult, using this business strategy, to allow larger sizes at an extra $1-2 and to have them change the type color on the white shirts to a readable color, like pink or purple. Just add a comments section where people can make those requests. Of course there would be an upcharge for larger sizes because of the extra material and specialty small runs. But changing the type color on the white shirt should be free. I am assuming, since they don't print in bulk but as orders are received, this is a company similar to Cafe Press, which can be very versatile in providing the exact product you want by making necessary changes.  You could also offer a lesser quality t-shirt to help reduce the price. Some of the shirts I have received in exchange for donations were made in African countries with thin cotton and smaller sizing. I don't mind. I just order a larger size and, if necessary, wear a plain t-shirt underneath for warmth. The point isn't really to "dress well" but to vocally, financially, and proudly show support for what you believe in, and to spark discussion with others about the issue. I have spoken to tens of people about one.org and a couple have joined up. Hopefully, when I get your shirt in a couple of weeks the same will happen.

Thank you for your efforts and for providing this space that breaks the ice, often with humor, to allow people to participate in open discourse in an honest and non-threatening way. It helps us straights know about the hidden issues LGBTs experience, it allows LGBTs to constructively criticize how we act, what we should or shouldn't do, what might make things worse instead of better, what makes things even better than good. We can ask questions with little fear of embarrassment -though there's always that one asshole...

Uncle George, who knows the importance of a safe haven, providing a virtual cyber haven for hundreds of thousands of people. I especially like to see folks, gay and straight, coming here from other countries and sharing their experiences. Here in the US the issue of marriage equality is currently at the forefront. But as was so brutally brought back to the front in NYC is that there is still homophobia bubbling under the surface. While we have made strides towards acceptance, even though some is passive or just apathy, there is still prejudice and still machismo that turns that prejudice to brutal violence.

But now we've reached a point where we have made enough progress in the US that we can look and "work"  elsewhere and share our experiences with LGBT and straight alliances about how to deal with every level of harassment, how to provide safe havens and let those in need know how to reach them, show people how to act in public based on what is culturally acceptable even while trying to change the culture. It will be more difficult in many other countries with mono-cultural control rather than in a multi-cultured country like the US or Canada.

It will be especially difficult in places like Russia where homophobia is legalized, and where violence against is becoming commonplace; the LGBT and Straight Alliance can and will be violently attacked by vigilantes who know they can use brutality with impunity. And they do. And on the one hand we want to just get all the LGBT peoples out of Russia, give them asylum, 'help' them. But that creates at least as much pain and problems as it would solve. Many of these people love their country, are proud Russians, except for how they are being perceived and treated because of their orientation/gender issues or their support of thse in that microcosm of society being singled out. But many would rather stay and fight. The way blacks and whites fought our US Civil War and 100 years later for Civil Rights. It IS. A worthy cause, and people ARE willing to fight and be imprisoned and, yes, die for what they believe in.

Hoo, boy. I digressed quite a bit here! I'm going to copy this and put it on my blog so people can read it and comment on it. I may add to it, or even just write another, related post.

George, I apologize for hijacking so much space. Sometimes I can't control a surge and I either overflow the dam or force the floodgates open!

Thank you for the opportunity! You are the kind of man one can love without never having met him.
XO, Uncle George Takei. XO

Ah, But I Digress: Dear John, and by John I mean Amazonbot

Ah, But I Digress: Dear John, and by John I mean Amazonbot: Dear Amazonbot, Thank you for your recent email recommending books I might enjoy, based on my previous selections. That's quite a progra...

Dear John, and by John I mean Amazonbot

Dear Amazonbot,
Thank you for your recent email recommending books I might enjoy, based on my previous selections. That's quite a program you have there, because those books are similar to what I've read. In fact, I HAVE read them. You should know that because I bought the Kindle versions FROM AMAZON! Don't you remember? You delivered them "wirelessly via Amazon's Whispernet." Am I now just a number to you? I've entrusted you with my wish list of books. You give me reminders when the books I've pre-ordered are released! Oh, oh! We've been together so long and yet you barely remember me. I have reviewed books for you; I've filled out surveys for customer service; I'M A PRIME MEMBER!

Amazonbot, I'm just not feelin' the love. I'm beginning to suspect you have outgrown our relationship. I suppose I was just a number all along, just another line in your database. But I couldn't see it for all the correspondence we've shared, your lovely thank you notes after I've visited your site and made purchases. So many visits. You allow me to browse through books before I purchase them! Well, at least those the publisher allows. You let me explore your site, to take a tour with no pressure to purchase. Except for those rows and rows of "people who bought this also bought these" sales tactics. Yes, sales tactics. I now see them for what they are. You try and make me feel like you're helping me, offering suggestions. I thought you were concerned I might miss a good read. I thought you were doing it for me. ME, Amazonbot. But no, you do the same for all your "customers." you probably tell people they should buy a book because I've purchased it. Oh, you don't name me. Nothing as personal as that. You just lump me in as an "other" who purchased this book or that.

Amazonbot, I'm not sure we can mend this, this, RIFT in our relationship. Hopefully we can continue our business relationship, at least. But I must warn you, there are others out there, just waiting for the chance to replace you in my life. In fact, I'm going to be honest with you. I, well, I have strayed a time or two. I've snuck into Barnes & Noble's NOOK. I had to! I had to satisfy my curiosity. With all the rumors of price fixing, I had to be sure you weren't taking advantage of me. And yes, I have purchased books from iTunes? I'm not proud of it, but I HAD A GIFT CERTIFICATE, It wasn't my fault! It wasn't my choice. I KNOW your Kindle version is the best available.

Oh, Amazonbot. Please don't forget me. Please don't lose me in your vast database. I can't bear to have to switch. Amazonbot, I can't quit you!

With thanks for all we've shared, and all I hope we can share in the future, like the third book in Ken Follett's trilogy which I wish was coming out soon but won't be here 'til 2014.

Yours,
Barb Wallace
Customer number 123456789

PS just so you know, you're not fooling me with that "delivered wirelessly via Amazon Whispernet" shit. I know what you're doing. You're trying to make me feel like I've gotten some kind of special fracking delivery! First of all, I'm not that stupid. I KNOW it's wireless. There's no wire that connects me to your store. I'm not a moran. And what's with the Whispernet bullshit? You use the interwebs, just like everybody else. You don't have your own internet. You can't just rename it. Cheesus, I don't know what I ever saw in you. I don't know how or why I was so taken. It must have been those customer service calls. I remember Phillip, whose real name was probably Muralimanohar, who casually discussed basketball with me as he searched for the answer to my problem, or Ahladita, who told me her name was Amber, who asked me to verify my address and then checked the weather channel so she could talk about what great weather we were having. Yes, it must have been those calls, those online chats with the help center with extended wait periods while you were helping other customers. Crap. I should have known then. Damn you. DAMN YOU Amazonbot! You've taken me for a fool! Well, as our formerly beloved president (yes, I know that should say beloved former president but believe me, he's not so beloved anymore. As a president, that is. Apparently when he doesn't have anybody pulling his strings he's a pretty nice guy!) anyway, as W once said "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." So don't even try, Amazonbot. I'ma got my eyes on you, ya bastid.

Yours,
Barb Wallace